Movie Review: Zoolander 2

Who cares about this movie? I get that Ben Stiller was forced to come up with something now that his franchises are stalling out—Meet the Parents ended, Night at the Museum ended, Madagascar can’t go on forever—but “Zoolander 2” won’t be it. The only thing more predictable than the movie itself is that it was a flop at the box office.

What Works: Not much, but most people thought the first “Zoolander” was best when Stiller’s title character and Owen Wilson’s Hansel were paired up in the last third, so this movie decided to double-down on that by having them share almost every scene together. Stiller and Wilson have an easy chemistry, but the material leaves them stranded. Of course, it’d be easier to feel sorry for them if the movie weren’t made for the express purpose of making them millions.

What Doesn’t: Zoolander 2 is the latest example of a weird, unholy hybrid of what used to be called “the paycheck job” and “the vanity vehicle.” Talented actors-writer-director hybrids (and Stiller is definitely talented) used to separate out lackluster “paycheck” movies they needed to make money on, and then cultivated the really good material for themselves. Well, Zoolander 2 is made all the more depressing because Stiller is not choosing to reinvent his career with a great new character and film or stretch dramatically, but instead create material he knows probably sucks so he can get paid. Oh, and I didn’t like the character of Zoolander’s son, the horribly unfunny designer Don Atari, Kristen Wiig’s bizarre fashion designer, etc. When a new movie’s best new character is the “straight woman” who doesn’t make you laugh at all (Penelope Cruz’s love interest), you know there’s a problem.

What I Would Have Done Differently: Cruz doesn’t have a lot of chemistry with Stiller, but their scenes are just sweet enough to almost make you give a damn about a character you haven’t seen in 4 presidential election cycles.