Obviously, this movie is nice to look at and has a weak story. I doubt anyone even needs to tell you that before you go into it. What they might not tell you though, is that there’s really no need to watch this movie. Most of the best visuals are in the trailer, so you could just watch that a couple times and get the general gist. In fact, the only memorable visual that’s not in the trailer might be Frieda Pinto’s bare ass, and as incredible as that is, it may not be enough.
What Works: Well, as I pointed out above and as anyone who has ever seen a Tarsem movie before (the lavish director of this and The Cell) already knew, the visuals work. What surprised me about this movie is that the look is less 300-knockoff (although the movie is undoubtedly that) and more like an oil painting come to life. Although she’s still no actress, Frieda Pinto also makes for a nice image, and Mickey Rourke adds as much soul as anyone possibly could to the role of the villainous King Hyperion.
What Doesn’t Work: Henry Cavill is a bland actor playing an even blander lead role, there’s literally nothing about him you could remember the next day. Also, the movie just isn’t essential after other Greek-mythology infused movies like 300 and Clash of the Titans, even though this movie is probably better than those. I felt myself getting seriously bored with yet another tale of blood soaked comic-book style carnage in ancient Greece before the end credits.
What I Would Have Done Differently: You can feel the movie really wants to be something much weirder than what it is–this is Tarsem we’re talking about–and it should have really went for that instead of watering down its wilder themes and ultimately making a movie that feels more generic than it should.