Movie Review: Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters

This movie was pretty bad. [And don’t worry, because there will be more timely reviews of Side Effects and Identity Thief later on today.] One of the most interesting parts comes early on when you discover that Will Ferrell is one of the producers…that’s not a good sign.

What Works: Occasional flashes of genuine fun ring out (I particularly liked a broom stick chase in the woods fairly early on) and there’s always a nice, cozy feeling when watching a fantasy movie about a small village besieged by some terror. [The recent Red Riding Hood movie was terrible but comforting in that way.] That feeling that says “sit back, nestle in, and know that nothing too surprising is going to happen over the next 90 minutes…

What Doesn’t Work: But those kinds of movies are rarely, you know, good, and Hansel and Gretel is no exception. There’s a lackluster, oh-fuck-it-let’s-just-get-paid quality hanging over the whole thing, and although it’s good to see Famke Janssen again, her evvvvvvil witch is always too cheesy to be anything close to a good villain. Jeremy Renner is the best actor in this movie, but he just looks bored for most of it.

What I Would Have Done Differently: I’m really tired of seeing these fairy tale movies trotted out over and over again, only now the “new” thing is to cast them in a “darker, grittier” light. Well, Snow White as a warrior princess is still Snow White and Hansel and Gretel as adult witch hunters just smacks of the same desperation. [Same goes for Jack the Giant Slayer in a few weeks…]