If there is a place in flop hell for ambitious failures then unfortunately there is also a place in box office heaven for unambitious success. Battle L.A., a reasonable hit, is proof positive of that even though there isn’t a thing new to this you haven’t seen a hundred times before.
Haunted Military Hero Who Talks in Raspy Voice: Check
Unnecessary Alien Autopsy: Check
Unrealistic Way Humans Find to Stop Seemingly Unstoppable Aliens: Check
Big, Rousing Speech When the Chips are Down: Check
There’s virtually nothing in Battle L.A. you haven’t seen in similar—too similar—alien invasion movies, so if I had to choose I guess I would spend two hours in the head of the Sucker Punch lead character because at least that feels fresher.
What Works: A battle sequence early on when the military platoon the movie follows go on a mission through a foggy L.A. suburban neighborhood is suspenseful and one of the fresher things in the movie. Even though the requisite alien autopsy is unnecessary, you can see why this is such a cliché, it works. I always look forward to that part in a movie like this.
What Doesn’t Work: I almost fell asleep towards the end, when I felt beaten down by repetitive scenes of LA battle when I should have felt riveted. The conclusion is stupid. And it’s way too easy to tell who will live and who will die—gee, do you think the soldier with a fiancée and a wedding to plan might make it alive? Plus children and women civilians?—to keep dramatic tension going. Plus, and this is a big one for an alien movie, the aliens suck. They aren’t in the least bit interesting or original, and most of the time are covered in this armor that robs them of description.
What I Would Have Done Differently: Why Battle L.A., a city we’ve seen destroyed in other alien movies? Why not Battle Baghdad or Battle Kabul and have American soldiers be forced to work together with civilians that hate them to fight the aliens? Instantly you have more dramatic tension that way.