So pretty much anyone who went to a theater this weekend happened upon Thor 2 and even though the film broke records, cemented Marvel’s place as a kingmaker, and raked in money hand over fist, I can’t help but ask an all-important question: “Is the movie good?” Now true, there aren’t many Marvel fans that care about this question, and even fewer that can answer it with a shred of objectivity (any Marvel movie is fantastic, the question is a weird one to them since it’s not possible for a Marvel movie to be bad), but still, let’s try…[I know it won’t matter or discourage even one person from seeing this in a theater, but let’s try anyway.]
What Works: A huge sense of nostalgia for the first film and The Avengers can certainly let this movie coast on that. [And it does!] I like a new monster that resembles a minotaur from hell and felt it probably belonged in a darker, more exciting movie but was grateful for the Guillermo Del Toro-esque touch. Natalie Portman is luminous as always, and the always underrated Kat Dennings gets more screen time this go ’round. Add Jaimie Alexander’s norse warrior to the mix, and it’s safe to say Thor doesn’t run short on sex appeal…[although in a Marvel movie that means two good-looking people might kiss by the end of it. In this case, at the very end of it.]
What Doesn’t Work: I think the first Thor movie was just a more satisfying and coherent experience. The big thing I kept hearing about the first one was “the Earth scenes aren’t as good as the scenes in Asgard.” This movie is set almost entirely in the fantasy realm but really misses the mark in terms of true magic. Everything we’re seeing feels like it’s been done before (and better), and Thor struggles to find a consistent tone. Some of the special effects are fantasy, and some are sci-fi, and some are medieval fantasy/sci-fi. It veers wildly from showing hooligan monster beasties that will give younger kids nightmares to dorky, slapstick shenanigans no one over the age of 12 will laugh at. When a movie includes Chuck’s Zachary Levi as one of its chief badasses, you know it isn’t taking itself very seriously…yet Thor really is. Its ridiculously elaborate plot (filled with some mumbo-jumbo mythology that sounds goofy but is delivered with dead-serious overtones) is too confusing to really hook you, and too generic to really make you care. I’m also ready for Thor’s brother Loki (Tom Hiddleson, laying on a smarm so thick you’d think the movie were called “The Adventures of Loki”) to take a backseat and for the franchise to invest in someone, anyone other than Loki who has a shred of personality.
The end credits sequences: Usually I’d tell you what I would have done differently, but since nobody much cares on an enormous blockbuster, I’ll tell you what the two end credits sequences are in case you left early: 1. About a minute into the credits, they stop to show a new scene between Thor’s chief helpers delivering this movie’s mystical device to an unintentionally hilarious looking Benicio Del Toro as some mysterious collector who seems to have nefarious plans (and will apparently be one of the two new villains in the next Avengers movie) and says “one down, five to go.” Mwahahahahaha. 2. After the credits are over, there’s a scene where Portman’s Jane is waiting for Thor as she eats breakfast and is beginning to look depressed that he won’t show up again, but boom! He appears on her balcony and they finally go for that long kiss. Then there’s a cutaway to some rampaging creature we saw earlier chasing birds and knocking over shipping containers. Oh Marvel! You can’t have one romantic or even G-rated sexy moment without immediately getting back to the goofy creatures? How mature of you.