Mom Jokes, resending the best joke my mom emailed me last week:

A woman walks into a bridal shop to pick out a wedding dress for her fourth wedding. She tells the store clerk she wants a white wedding gown. The store clerk, delicately, tries to inform her that white wedding dresses are more for virgins than women on their fourth marriage.

The woman is furious and tells him she is a virgin, and then explains. “My first husband and I got into a terrible fight right after the wedding and never even spoke after that, let alone had sex. Then my second husband, poor thing, was so excited on our wedding night he dropped dead of a heart attack right before we were about to make love.”

“And the third husband?” The store clerk asked.

“The third husband was a Republican and every night for four years he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was gonna be.”