A man goes to a shrink and says, ‘Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?’
‘Relax,’ says the Doctor, ‘take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar? ‘
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John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. ‘Give me one last request, dear,’he said.
‘Of course, John,’ his wife said softly.
‘Six months after I die,’ he said, ‘I want you to marry George.’
‘But I thought you hated George,’ she said.
With his last breath John said, ‘I do!’
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A man goes to see a Baptist Preacher , something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.’
The Preacher asked, ‘What’s wrong?’
The man replied, ‘My wife is poisoning me.’
The Preacher, very surprised by this, asks, ‘How can that be?’
The man then pleads, ‘I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I do?’
The Preacher then offers, ‘Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.’
A week later the Preacher calls the man and says, “I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?’
The man said yes and the Preacher replied, ‘Take the poison’
All of these are so funny. Your mom must be a hoot!