After what seems like an endless campaign, the presidential election is finally here. [Presidents are usually given 100 days of compromise, Obama was given about a hundred hours before Romney started campaigning against him.] And I’ve written many, many times about that in the past year and a half (if Romney loses I’ll be thrilled as a citizen, but sort-of miss him as a liberal blogger’s wet dream), but now it’s time to focus on five other races that I’ll be watching closely. Although, really, every single race is important today——-VOTE guys, my mom lost her local race a couple years back due to O-N-E provisional ballot——there are a handful of races that offer a lot of interest to me personally.
5. [Tie] The respective races of Michelle Bachmann and Joe Walsh…These two Tea Party darlings actually stand a decent chance of losing today and the country would be a hell of a lot better off if they did. Bachmann’s egregious belief that muslims are out to get her makes me think her sanity might not survive another four years, and Walsh is a loathsome human being. I would vote him “Congress’s Biggest Asshole.” He’s a jerk on a king-sized scale, and if anyone deserves to beat him it’s Tammy Duckworth, his disabled war veteran female opponent. [Because if there’s one thing a deadbeat dad wouldn’t appreciate, it’s getting beaten by a woman who’s better than him.]
4. Scott Brown vs. Elizabeth Warren…This is a vibrant, hotly contentious race that could very well determine the fate of the senate. At the very least, Warren will be a new “star” on the left, taking over the desperately-needed mantle of “Liberal firebrand” now that Anthony Weiner and John Edwards are disgraced, and Alan Grayson is on the outside looking in. Speaking of which…
3. Alan Grayson vs. Alan Grayson…It’s not a question of whether or not Alan Grayson will return to congress (he’s currently up for election in a newly created Democrat-leaning district and is ahead of his opponent by twenty points in nearly every poll), but on how vocal and active he’ll be once he gets there. My guess is that we’ll finally have one of our heroes back.
2. Todd Akin vs. Claire McCaskill…This really could be the race that determines whether or not the senate falls into the hands of the Republicans or not, and what better symbol of the whole damn enchilada than Akin (an extremely old, out of touch, creepy man) vs. McCaskill (a woman who’s had this entire race turned into a gender war since she’s running against a candidate that can’t stop stepping in shit when it comes to women’s issues). If Akin (“legitimate rape,” “McCaskill isn’t very ladylike”) wins, it’ll be like people really don’t care how out of touch someone is on social issues…which is very, very alarming.
And finally, the top race I’m looking most forward to is…Drum roll please…
It’s a tie! [I know, it’s a cheat isn’t it?] It’s a tie between the four states vying to be the first to popular vote-in same-sex marriage (Washington plus the three M’s: Minnesota, Maryland, and Maine) and the two states voting to allow the sale of marijuana (Washington again, plus Colorado). These are historic, extremely important votes, and perhaps more important than electing any one candidate. This is direct democracy, and I hope all of these states really take advantage of it.
Good job with this article.