Roughly four months back, I made a list of the ten movies I was most excited to see, the five I was most on the fence about, and, of course, the five I was least excited to see. Now that summer is officially over, and we’re getting into the best movie season (the Fall and early winter Oscar bait time), I thought I might take a look back and see how my general perception of a movie’s quality turned out. Important Note: This has NOTHING to do with a movie’s box office. I already know that Expendables 2 and The Avengers are huge, and never questioned whether or not they would be. This is merely trying to judge the quality. [Original article found here: http://alabamaliberal.com/archives/1960
The Five Summer Movies I was least excited to watch…
What I Said Then: “5. G.I. Joe 2 and Step Up 4: Two terrible franchises that Channing Tatum has had the good sense to outgrow. I doubt anyone is really demanding another Step Up film or even remembers the first G.I. Joe, so I don’t know why they made these, but I’m sure they’ll do good box office…and equally sure they’ll be terrible.”
What I Say Now: G.I. Joe 2 had its release date pushed back until next year, supposedly to beef up Tatum’s screen time (apparently he died in the beginning of the movie originally). And I never even saw Step Up 4…luckily, nobody else did either.
What I Said Then: “4. Dark Shadows: Looks like another Johnny Depp/Tim Burton wank-fest where no one leaves satisfied, but nobody in charge of the film cares because they’ve got your money anyway.”
What I Say Now: Yup. This was the only big summer release I didn’t see, and I’m totally cool with that decision.
What I Said Then: “3. The Expendables 2: Like number 5, this is a movie no one was asking to see a sequel to.”
What I Say now: I stand by this. It’s had decent box office (although not as good as some were expecting nor as good as the first film) but quality-wise…Well, see my review from earlier today. Exactly what I thought it would be.
What I Said Then: “2. Battleship: What’s better than Transformers? How about a terrible looking Transformers knock-off set entirely in the ocean, plus hoping you don’t notice it has nothing to do with the classic board game/movie tie-in?”
What I Say Now: It’s amazing how the “bad list” really didn’t even need to be watched to be reviewed. I might have to remember that in the Fall. Good rule of thumb: if a movie looks like it’ll waste your time, it probably will.
“1. That’s My Boy/What to Expect When You’re Expecting: One is another broad Adam Sandler comedy right after his Jack and Jill hot streak, the other is another ensemble rom-com with an “all star cast” of people collecting paychecks. Enough said about why it’s a tie for number 1.”
What I Say Now: I didn’t see either of these films, and both underperformed at the box office and got critically ravaged.
The five I was not-so-sure-about [In order of least excited to most excited to watch]
What I Said Then: “5. Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter: Looks like a one-joke movie stretched out into a painfully bad Funny or Die sketch. I can’t quite put it on the “least excited” list because there’s a chance it’ll be good, but this is one gimmick that could be the next Jonah Hex.”
What I Say Now: Perfectly placed. It definitely didn’t deserve to be in the least excited column, and yet I remained agnostic about it even while watching it…not really swayed one way or the other for an overall “C” experience.
What I Said Then: “4. Men in Black 3/Neighborhood Watch: Two alien-invasion comedies with good casts but probably sub-par scripts. Neighborhood Watch is going to have a hard time in the wake of the Trayvon Martin shooting, and Men in Black 3 could have a hard time because the franchise has been inactive for so long, and this looks more like Will Smith collecting a pay check than anything somebody NEEDS to see.”
What I Say Now: Yup. Although most critics (including myself) would agree that Men in Black 3 is at least a letter grade better than Neighborhood Watch.
What I Said Then: “3. Spider Man/Total Recall: Two “remakes” of movies that aren’t old enough to be remade. Either one or both COULD be good, but they face a steep uphill battle because of the “been there, down that” feel, and Total Recall is directed by Len Wiseman, so that’s not a good sign.”
What I Say Now: Spider Man is better than Total Recall, but neither were what I would call a very memorable experience.
What I Said Then: “2. The Avengers: I know people are probably shocked I put this here as this is one of the most anticipated films of the summer in certain circles, but I’m just not a big Marvel comics fan in general. I think it’s really interesting that while Batman just gets more and more real, Marvel goes in the other direction to have their cartoonish heroes fight an army of space aliens. A real contrast…and I’m betting we’ll see just as big a contrast in the actual quality of these rival films.”
What I Say Now: Absolutely. Without question the most overrated film of the summer. It’s one of the highest grossing films ever, which was always expected, BUT what kills me are the fanboys swearing up and down it’s a great movie too. Not a good film, “a GREAT film.” They’re wrong.
What I Said Then: “1. Bourne Legacy: On the one hand, I love the Jason Bourne films. On the other hand, who knows what this thing is? It’s a Bourne movie without the character of Jason Bourne or Matt Damon, but I do like Jeremy Renner (as the new Bourne) and Edward Norton (seemingly the villain), so it’s definitely worth an open mind.”
What I Say Now: I was right to put it on the agnostic list, and also right to put it at the top of that list. Jeremy Renner gives a very, very strong performance at the center of this thing, and it has a nice allegory about drug addiction (he needs his “chems” so he can stay “super”). But overall it’s too much work for too little payoff, burying us in old material and exposition that never really adds up to an interesting story.
And of course, the 10 I was most looking forward to…
What I Said Then: “10. Brave: Cars 2 was Pixar’s first misfire, but surely they won’t make two bad movies in a row…right?”
What I Say Now: Wrong. Although a lot of people liked this movie, I don’t know anyone that really loved it. Pixar’s most conventional film ever, and it doesn’t bode well for the direction the company is taking in the future when this is their only original idea in years (before Cars 2 it was Toy Story 3 and next year it’s Monsters Inc. 2) and it’s a carbon copy of a typical Disney princess movie.
What I Said Then: “9. Snow White and the Huntsman: I know the story of Snow White has been done to death just in this year alone (TV’s Once Upon a Time, and Mirror, Mirror from a month ago) and I’m really tired of people pretending old fairy tales are relevant as allegories for what’s going on today. However, the trailer looks really impressive and I think it’s worth keeping an open mind for Charlize Theron’s reportedly awesome evil queen, who looks equal parts wicked and sexy.”
What I Say Now: Not a good movie, but Charlize Theron is very good it in.
What I Said Then: “8. Savages: One of the very few times I’ve read the novel before the movie, and so it’s really a win-win for me. If I like this movie about peaceful California pot growers getting mixed up with a violent Mexican drug cartel, good. If I don’t like it, I can say “the book was better,” and collect satisfaction in finally getting to say that. The trailer looks like flashy shit (there are at least ten differences in the trailer alone from the more realistic yet equally trashy book), and Oliver Stone has been off his game for a while, but we’ll see.”
What I Say Now: Wait for it…deep breathe…the book was better!!!! Although the book is no masterpiece itself so it doesn’t bother me that bad, and the movie is still decent.
What I Said Then: “7. Paranorman: I don’t know…there’s always one good, non-Pixar animated film every year right? This could be it.”
What I Say Now: Haven’t seen it yet, although people that have tell me it’s good, not very good, but definitely worth watching.
What I Said Then: “6. Looking for a Friend for the End of the World: I have to admire Steve Carell for trying to break out of his comfort zone and this comedy about the end of the world looks very sharp. Unlike the movies above this, I’m pretty sure this one will be good.”
What I Say Now: And now more than pretty sure I was wrong. The movie was a disappointment and Carell really didn’t break out of his comfort zone, once again continuing his tradition of playing variations of Rick Santorum.
What I Said Then: “5. The Wettest County:” [Which became “Lawless.”] “An excellent cast that includes Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman, Shia Lebouf, Guy Pearce, and the invaluable Jessica Chastain, a promising plot about old-time boot leggers getting squeezed by local law enforcement for their profits, and a great director in John Hillcoat (The Road, The Proposition). I haven’t seen a trailer, but on paper alone this one deserves to be here.”
What I Say Now: Damn…I got the “bad” and “mediocre” movies a lot more right than my “want to see” list. Of course, I didn’t realize there would be so many misfires this summer. Not a strong movie going season by any definition of the word, and not a strong film in this one.
What I Said Then: “4. The Candidate: I also haven’t seen a trailer for this movie about two rival South Carolina politicians (Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis) squaring off in a bitter election, but it’s got two comedians I like and is about politics. I’ll see this movie even if it has a zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes.”
What I Say Now: Finally, I got one right in this list. A very strong film, really even better than I was expecting. One of the only four movies this summer I would really recommend.
What I Said Then: “3. The Dictator: You either love Sacha Baron Cohen or you don’t. You either think Bruno and Borat are two of the best comedies of the last ten years or you don’t. Guess which camp I’m in?”
What I Say Now: Although most people would consider this film a disappointment, I don’t at all. I didn’t “enjoy” it per se, but I respect it immensely. Cohen remains one of the only big name comedians who refuses to pull a punch, and I’m grateful he’s out there.
What I Said Then: “2. Prometheus: Exciting. Said to be the rare sci-fi film that isn’t just a futuristic action movie, but has real ideas, and I’m hoping that’s true.”
What I Say Now: Although this movie didn’t quite live up to its potential or make full sense of its ideas, I’m glad it decided to at least attempt to say something about our creation and place in the universe rather than just be yet another space movie where the crew drops like flies. Great performance by Michael Fassbender also elevates the material.
What I Said Then: “1. The Dark Knight Rises: I’ll consider it proof of a higher power if this movie isn’t a disappointment…and that higher power’s name is Christopher Nolan.”
What I Say Now: Hallelujah! One of the only four quality films of the summer (the others being Magic Mike, Hope Springs, and The Campaign). By now, I would trade the entire Marvel Comics superhero gallery (everyone in The Avengers, the X-Men, and whatever else they’re coming up with) for another Christopher Nolan Batman movie. Although, I’m really interested to see what he does after Batman.
Note: So that’s it…I look forward to the Fall now. Will there be a few Magic Mike/Hope Springs sleeper films that I’m not even aware of now that come along and floor me in November? Let’s hope so, because I wouldn’t have it any other way.