A guy asked a girl in a library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl answered with a loud voice, “I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!!!” All of the students in the library started staring at the guy. He was very embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the…
Category: Mindless Mondays
TV Review: “Fashion Star” and “Grimm” Are Back…But Are They Better Than Ever?
Fashion Star…All of the old problems (overstuffed episodes, noisy-as-hell runways that overpower the clothes, too many contestants for us to really keep track of them, routine picking of the wrong designer to go home, unhelpful advice from the mentors, etc.) are still there, but now they’ve added a couple. They’ve white-washed the gorgeous H &…
TV Reviews: Red Widow, The Vikings, The Bible, and Celebrity Apprentice
Celebrity Apprentice: F [Yep, it’s that simple] Red Widow: This new ABC drama (that stars Radha Mitchell as a crime family widow forced into the drug smuggling business after her husband is killed) gets caught between worlds as it’s not realistic enough to be gritty but not unrealistic enough to be fun. So far, there’s…
TV Review: Kevin Hart Takes Over TV with an “SNL” Appearance and Real Husbands of Hollywood
Seems like Kevin Hart is everywhere these days, and I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing. I don’t have strong opinions of him one way or the other, so I went into his latest projects with an entirely open mind…and I think they’re more successful than not. Saturday Night Live: It’s great to see…
Book Reviews: The Newlyweds (Now in Paperback), The Good Son, People Who Eat Darkness
None of these are new books, but they were recently made available in paperback and are some of the best reviewed books of last year. Maybe I was a bit negligent in compiling a Best Books of 2012 list without reading all of them first, but even though I did really enjoy two of them,…
Mom Jokes: Gynecologist’s Assistant
A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver , Colorado , and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist’s Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read, “The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to…
Mom Jokes: Winter Windows
Husband texts wife on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen.” Wife texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it.” Husband texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer completely screwed up now.”
Mom Jokes: Weather Update
Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Cape Cod. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look …
Mom Jokes: Dogs Welcome
For the dog lovers… A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in…
A Day of Mom Jokes Begins with “An Accidental Pregnancy”
An 18-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting and crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want…
Who Will Win Tonight?
Best Supporting Actor: Tommy Lee Jones Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway Best Director: Steven Spielberg Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence (unfortunately, I don’t think Jessica Chastain can pull it out) Best Picture: Argo So boring…
Movie Review: “Side-Effects,” a Crafty, Shape-Shifting Thriller for Adults
This is the best movie I’ve seen (so far) this year, and even though that isn’t saying much (we’re only six weeks in and this is a notorious dumping ground for most Hollywood movies that would bomb in more competitive time periods) it’s the only one I can really recommend. So basically, I would say…
Movie Review: Identity Thief
I would love to tell you how hi-larious this movie is. I would love to tell you that the laughs started early and never let up, that Bateman/McCarthy have terrific comedic chemistry, and that the schmaltzy third act feels totally earned. However, none of that would be true. This movie exploded at the box office…