A camper brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, but your dog has passed away.” “What?”…
Category: Mindless Mondays
TV Reviews: “Breaking Bad” Brings the Heat, “Boardwalk Empire” Brings the…Quiet
There was no better showcase of exactly what makes a quality drama downright riveting, must-watch television than what just transpired a couple of hours ago as Boardwalk Empire shared the same time slot as Breaking Bad. But to call these two shows equals would be putting it mildly. Yes, they are both quality, serialized dramas…
Mom Jokes
A collection of quick hits, some good, and some groaners (they can’t all work people…sorry about the North Carolina one). Florida A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair…
TV Review: “Do No Harm” Series Finale, I Watch It So You Don’t Have to
I must be the last person on the planet watching this show since NBC cancelled it back in the spring after only two historically-low rated episodes, but then brought it back in the summer (during the Saturday night dead zone) to burn off the remaining episodes they had shot. Well it’s a long way from…
TV Reviews: The Pitch, Owner’s Manual, The League
The League…Now that FX’s comedy about fantasy football has moved over to FXX (whatever the hell that is, I just know that, despite its name, it’s not a porno network) I wondered if the show would be radically different to make folks desperately search their channel guide to figure out where in the hell FXX…
TV Review: “Futurama” Enjoys a Perfect Series Finale #futurama
Tonight was the final episode of the final season of the final resurrection of Futurama. That means no more episodes on Fox/Comedy Central, no more revivals on other networks (unless Netflix is interested…please?), and probably no more standalone movies to fill the void. Tonight’s episode was called “Meanwhile,” and if Futurama ever had to end——–and…
TV Review: TNT’s “Cold Justice” is Possibly the Most Destructive Reality Show to Date
TNT’s new reality show “Cold Justice” (following two female crime solvers getting paid to solve cold cases) isn’t just devoid of real entertainment value——-it’s essentially a lurid Dateline special swallowed up by static, repetitive scenes of telling us the same five “facts” over and over again———it also could get innocent people locked up. This is…
Comedy Central Roast of James Franco
I have missed as many of these Comedy Central Roasts as I have seen, and it usually just depends on whether or not one is on when there’s nothing else to watch, and tonight’s certainly fit that criteria. [A Labor Day monday at nine o’clock? Yep, I’m pretty sure I’m free.] Plus, I was curious…
Movie Review: “The Spectacular Now” See it Now
An excellent indie now getting a nation-wide theatrical release, and it couldn’t have happened to a better underdog-film. What Works: This is the story of a high school senior (Miles Teller) who is the life of the party, and always in the moment. That’s mostly because he’s always drinking. There are few moments of the…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Closed Circuit
A movie I wanted to like more than I did, and yet I will absolutely recommend this movie. In a world where a smart, adult thriller can gross a pitiful 3 million dollars on opening weekend and it can’t even get a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, somebody has to be a champion for the underdogs. What…
Movie Review: The Astoundingly Bad “The Getaway”
One of the worst movies I’ve seen this year. I kept rubbing my eyes together, wondering if what I was seeing was really as crumby as I thought. If a movie about a race car driver (Ethan Hawke…not exactly on creative fire after this and The Purge) forced to complete a series of mysterious tasks…
Movie Review: You’re Next
For months before this film was released there was crazy-good buzz coming off of it. Entertainment Weekly repeatedly wrote articles saying “Here comes your next horror obsession” or “Is ‘You’re Next’ the Next Big Horror Hit?” Well, the film opened well below expectations last weekend and there was exactly one other person in the theater…
Movie Review: Percy Jackson 2: Sea of Monsters
The review you’ve been waiting with baited breath for. [eye roll] Don’t worry, I’ve got much more current films scheduled all throughout the day, so keep checking back. What Works: The acting is bad, the pacing is worse, the direction is shoddy, and the dialogue is terrible. So what makes Percy Jackson any good? I…