Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

I’m sorry, but this franchise needs to die. Once was good, twice was not so good, three times was enough, and four times just feels like Johnny Depp is being a greedy bastard. [The official subtitle to this movie is “On Stranger Tides” but it should be “Depp needs a new mansion.”] I didn’t have…

After years of movies that either underplayed his talents (Step Brothers) or over played them, asking him to trot out the same old blowhard shtick (Semi-Pro), Will Ferrell struck comedy gold last year in The Other Guys, playing a mild mannered guy slowly coming unraveled. The performance was a revelation, and Ferrell has followed that…

By now everyone in the country that is going to see this movie already has, so you’ll be glad to know I would recommend it. I mean, after all, you don’t want to spend your money on a movie and then find out I wouldn’t recommend it two weeks later ;) What Works: The Asgard…

Most of the time I’m perfectly in line with what other critics think, and we get to stand alone dissing movies that the general public goes to see in droves (hello Hop). Or sometimes I don’t like a movie the critics do, but since the general public doesn’t either, I don’t have to feel too…

Am I wrong for liking this movie as much as I did? I’m not the biggest lover of nature documentaries out there, in fact, I can’t make it through one without falling asleep, but I really enjoyed this one. What Works: This thing is as interesting as it possibly could be. Samuel L. Jackson provides…

I saw the movie Something Borrowed this weekend…wait, stop throwing eggs at me… What Worked: Most valuable player John Krasinski stole the movie with just a few lines, exhausted reaction shots, and by being the only character in the movie with any sense. What Didn’t Work: Kate Hudson looks like Kathleen Turner. Jennifer Goodwin has…

One of the good things about doing reviews a little later than most reviewers (and two weeks can be long enough for a movie to be forgotten in today’s age) is that you get a chance to measure a movie after the first wave of critical reception. You can survey the damage of how right…

Is 2011 the worst year for animated movies? It’s looking that way. Not only has there not been a SINGLE watchable one so far besides Rango (and many, many more duds like Gnomeo and Juliet or Hoodwinked 2), there hasn’t been an instant classic produced like last year’s How I Met Your Dragon. That was…

Of all the new “movie stars” in the last decade that make no sense to me (Vin Diesel, Ludacris, hell, the entire Fast and Furious cast) the one that makes the least sense is Russell Brand. This guy is supposed–supposed to being the key word–be this hard partying, R rated, boundary pushing asshole, but the…

As you’ve no doubt figured out by now, this Monday Morning Movie Critic day is the garbage bin for movies I watched weeks ago but didn’t write up until now. And in that perpetual garbage bin, where would we be without a horror sequel no one wanted or was asking for. What Works: The opening…

This move opened almost (gasp) three weeks ago and has pretty much died on impact ever since. However, I sat through it so I think a post-mortem is only fair. What It Does Right: There’s just something about the circus that brings out the inner magic in all of us (even if movies about the…

So I’ve been staying at home the past few weekends instead of plunking down dollars to see Scream: 4, When Two Shitty Sequels Just Aren’t Enough or Tyler Perry’s Jesus and Biscuits. However, I did manage to see this pretty-good, vaguely Euro art house thriller that isn’t so art house. Hanna is about a young…

This could be a eulogy as much as a review as Your Highness died this past weekend, the same it was born on. The film opened in 6th place with more people going to see the sure-to-be-shitty Arthur, giving Russell Brand (also voice star of Hop) the top two films this past weekend. The apocalypse…