Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

So this one is tough because The Lion King re-release in 3D isn’t really something I wanted to review since it’s almost two decades old but since it exploded the box office I felt I had to review it. So I slapped on those color-muting 3D glasses (they do ruin a nicely colorful picture like…

This movie sucks. What Works: Supposedly, this movie is based on a true story, and I guess that alone makes it more interesting than the typical Jason Statham flick. Still, the trade-off for that is you have to live in the movie’s real-life time of the early 80’s and all the typical, terrible mustaches and…

As crappy as “What’s Your Number?” is there was a movie this weekend that gave me hope that the future of movies is not lost. I saw Moneyball and (even though I’m not a baseball or even a sports fan whatsoever) consider it easily one of the best sports based movies I’ve seen in several…

“What’s Your Number?” is only exceptional in that it is the worst movie I’ve seen in at least three month (at least since Bad Teacher). In fact, it is a very strong contender for worst movie of the year. Now, longtime readers will ask “But you’ve reviewed Big Momma’s House 3 and Gnomeo and Juliet?”…

Although none of the movies I’m reviewing today are exactly bad (Warrior, Straw Dogs, and Drive do have their occasional moments), Contagion is the only one I would recommend without hesitation. The others are in between a C and a B-, but Contagion is a solid B+ right down the middle and is one of…

This is a tough movie to review as it keeps changing as you’re watching it. What starts out as a great, realistic movie about a getaway driver in L.A. then morphs into a relationship movie between that driver and his married next door neighbor. Just when you’re getting used to that movie, it then morphs…

Much like Warrior, this remake of a vastly superior 1970’s Sam Peckinpah movie was D.O.A. at the box office when it opened last weekend. Unlike Warrior, it makes perfect sense that nobody watched it. I mean, you really lose either way with this one. On the one hand, it’s a remake of a Sam Peckinpah…

This movie has been out for two weeks and has yet to make any sort of an impact so I figure I’ll keep this brief…Warrior (for all 99% of the country that hasn’t seen it or heard of it) is a mixed martial arts movie. It hopes to be for this sport what Rocky was…

After independent films too broad (The Guard) and perhaps too small (Higher Ground) comes this just right film about a real life Whistleblower. It stars Rachel Weisz as a Nebraska cop who went to work for a private defense contractor working with the United Nations to rebuild Bosnia’s police force after their civil war. Once…

This complicated, interesting-if-not-satisfyng indie movie is directed by and stars Vera Farminga as an evangelical Christian struggling with her faith after a long period of drinking the Kool Aid. This is one of those indies that lives in the small moments (a slight glance of frustration here, a tiny moment of displeasure there) that slightly…

This indie dud came and went last month with so-so reviews and box office, but I can’t say I’d recommend it to anyone looking to escape the big budget, brain dead summer fare. This movie (about Brendan Gleeson’s “unorthodox” Irish cop getting paired up with Don Cheadle’s straight laced FBI agent to stop a drug…

The title mostly says it all. This movie is about Jason Sudekis trying to get all his friends together to perform, you guessed it, a good old fashioned orgy. It’s got some sporadically funny parts, but mostly this is a somewhat good film to watch in about a year when it’s on HBO (or, more…

Colombiana is a strange movie. Not strange in terms of content–it’s standard revenge film stuff–but strange in that I KNOW it is “technically” the worst movie I’m reviewing today, but I actually would recommend this before My Idiot Brother or Fright Night. You won’t see a thing you haven’t seen before in this (except exactly…