Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

This movie more or less opened and died on its opening weekend during Halloween, so I won’t waste too much of anyone’s time on a sure-fire bomb that won’t be remembered as having existed by this time next year. What Works: Not a lot. The opening credits set to a soaring sky view of 1960’s…

This is one of those extremely small scale independent movies that most readers haven’t been exposed to. The movie IS in a few hundred theaters now (where I saw it) but is also on demand so anyone with cable can watch it. I can’t exactly tell you to drive two hundred miles–what I used to…

This movie is interesting as it is about a cult but will leave you feeling like the victim of a con job. Critics have given this movie rave reviews (while inexplicably being lukewarm to stronger films like Ides of March), but make no mistake: I did not see one person leave the theater that looked…

I am extremely late in reviewing this movie even though I saw it weeks ago. [Couldn’t find a place for it last week during Halloween week.] And yet I feel that’s unfair as it’s actually one of the better movies in theaters you could watch right now. It’s not as viscerally crowd pleasing as Moneyball…

Well, after a long day of five movie reviews, one mom joke, a tv review, and an entertainment editorial, I wind down the site today with my favorite movie this week, In Time. Now this being Halloween, I’ve tried to keep it to that theme (people can dress up as the robots of Rock ‘Em,…

Somewhat surprising in that it’s not terrible. I have to admit, I wasn’t exactly waiting with baited breath to watch a movie version of the robot boxing game Rock ‘Em, Sock ‘Em, and the trailer looked ridiculously cheesy. I still wouldn’t call Real Steel a good movie (and we’ll get into its faults in a…

Once again showing that there’s no franchise Hollywood doesn’t like to “update” long after it’s quit making money (considering In Time grossed more than The Three Musketeers and cost less, you have to wonder if original ideas are really so risky), here is the approximately 400th retelling of The Three Musketeers. Don’t worry though, these…

This one is a weird “prequel” (which I guess is supposed to stop bellyaching that it’s really a deliriously shitty remake) of 1982’s The Thing…itself a remake of a 1950’s movie. However, this film promises to fill us in on what happens before the events in 1982’s The Thing, even though anyone who’s seen the…

What Works: Even though I saw this movie at the worst possible time period (I’m pretty sure a Bronx high school was sitting behind me and wouldn’t stop laughing, talking, and at one point making bird calls), and the audience almost entirely undercut the suspense, I liked this movie. I actually think this movie is…

Unlike last week where I really liked Moneyball and really hated What’s Your Number?, this week’s top movie is just okay. You might even say I’m 50/50 on it, get it? Hey wait, don’t run from my reviewer puns! What Works: Joseph Gordon Levitt (as a very young guy stricken with a rare form of…

So this one is tough because The Lion King re-release in 3D isn’t really something I wanted to review since it’s almost two decades old but since it exploded the box office I felt I had to review it. So I slapped on those color-muting 3D glasses (they do ruin a nicely colorful picture like…

This movie sucks. What Works: Supposedly, this movie is based on a true story, and I guess that alone makes it more interesting than the typical Jason Statham flick. Still, the trade-off for that is you have to live in the movie’s real-life time of the early 80’s and all the typical, terrible mustaches and…

As crappy as “What’s Your Number?” is there was a movie this weekend that gave me hope that the future of movies is not lost. I saw Moneyball and (even though I’m not a baseball or even a sports fan whatsoever) consider it easily one of the best sports based movies I’ve seen in several…