Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

That title is either a threat or a promise depending on who you are, and for me it’s most definitely a threat. I’ve been as patient as anyone possibly could be with the Twilight films (I actually liked parts of the first and third ones) but this fourth installment is a real turd. So far,…

I have no idea what the actual title for The Muppets movie I saw this weekend is, but I know it involves them and opened on Thanksgiving so that’s close enough. This movie defied my expectations by not sucking. I know that sounds like a hell of a backhanded compliment, and is, but I found…

Of the three family friendly movies that opened on Thanksgiving weekend, this one is by far the weakest. That’s not necessarily as bad as it sounds (I would take this movie over Jack and Jill and Twilight any day) but it’s still not a good thing either. What Works: The whole idea of a technologically…

Obviously, this movie is nice to look at and has a weak story. I doubt anyone even needs to tell you that before you go into it. What they might not tell you though, is that there’s really no need to watch this movie. Most of the best visuals are in the trailer, so you…

Regular readers know that not all movies are created equal even before you see them. There’s just no denying that I look forward to some movies more than others, and even though a movie I think will be bad can surprise me, it probably won’t. So for every three Jack and Jills, there’s usually one…

It is what it is. A shamelessly “cute” movie about dancing/singing penguins that no one will remember in a year’s time. Since the movie also didn’t do much at this weekend’s box office, I think we’re looking at the last of the Happy Feet franchise films and that’s probably for the best. What Works: Some…

This movie sucks. What Works: Virtually nothing. Al Pacino’s so-embarassing-it’s-hilarious turn as a version of himself is entertaining in its delirious kamikaze glory (the man is seriously hellbent on destroying his reputation) but after a while you just feel depressed for laughing at (not with) this once-great actor. What Doesn’t Work: This is an easy…

This movie has stirred up a minor storm in the indie world in the past few weeks. It’s the story of two young college students (Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones) who fall in love quickly but have different struggles trying to stay together, including a long distance part of the movie where she’s in her…

This is a Brazilian movie that came out there a few months back and became the highest grossing South American film ever. I’m just now catching up with this well-made crime drama but, let’s be honest, this movie wasn’t exactly at the top of your list for movies you’re waiting to read about. So I’ll…

It is what it is. This movie won’t surprise anyone, and will deliver almost exactly what you’d expect. What Works: A fine cast–really better than this movie deserves–and a few decent chuckles. It’s also good to see Eddie Murphy finally get back to straight comedy over lukewarm family films. What Doesn’t Work: The ending is…

This is the movie currently propping up the ailing box office (its second weekend performance only dipped three percent from the first week) but is it worth a damn? I would say…kind-of. That’s another way of giving the movie a C or a C+ and telling you to wait for the DVD, but, let’s be…

Waaaay behind the curve reviewing this movie as it opened more than a month ago, but one of the reviews every Monday is no-longer-relevant, so that’s nothing new. I think the extra time also gives perspective. Footloose is a great example, as I would have been more enthusiastic about it immediately after seeing it than…

This movie has the single best red-band trailer I’ve ever seen, complete with coked up babies, Neil Patrick Harris hitting on babes in heaven, Neil Patrick Harris getting kicked out of heaven by a jealous Jesus, pot smoking babies with the munchies, etc. And yet, the movie itself sucks…Damn you trailers! What Works: It’s funny…