Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

Okay, so…much like The Vow, we have a little bit of false advertising here. Unlike, The Vow, I actually think the movie this winds up being is stronger than the one advertised. This is a definite “See it.” What Works: This is advertised as “Elizabeth Olsen gets terrorized by random strangers in a house for…

Yeah, I hated this movie. What Works: Channing Tatum proves that he definitely is ready to be considered for a decent movie role. I feel half-bad for this guy because he’s never been BAD in anything, yet he has starred in more shitty movies than one man should have to. Come on guys, let’s see…

More like “Project Pointless.” If you’ve ever seen a movie where a couple of teenage guys are real nerdy and decide to change it by throwing a wild ass house party, you’ve seen this movie. There’s not really a “plot” per say, and the characters are all arch-types we’ve seen in everything from Superbad to…

This movie is a little bit better than I thought it would be, which is notable since Paul Rudd movies usually look good but disappoint (How Do You Know, Knocked Up, My Idiot Brother), and it is no less than the third straight performance I’ve liked Jennifer Aniston in (after The Switch and Horrible Bosses), which…

This movie sucks. What Works: Nicolas Cage pisses fire in one scene. What Doesn’t Work: Well, when the highlight of your movie is Nicolas Cage pissing fire…does it sound like much goes right? What I Would Have Done Differently: I watched this movie for free and the price was still too high. When you begin…

I have to admit I’ve never seen this director’s work before (he’s known primarily for high class anime films based off popular children’s stories). So I can’t say I’m a fan necessarily or can compare this to his other films. My gut feeling is that if you like his other films, you’ll probably like this…

Last night, Undefeated won the oscar for best documentary. Luckily, I saw it Saturday, and all so I can tell you it should NOT have won…well, maybe not so luckily then… What Works: Judging the film solely on its own merits, it’s a pretty good sports doc about a high school football team in a…

I was excited to see this movie as it’s proudly touted that it was made with “Active duty Navy Seals” and the director is a former stuntman who should know his way around an action sequence. Well, it turns out that taking hits is a lot easier than staging them in a satisfying way. And…

This movie opened quite a while ago but I just got around to seeing it. Much like Big Miracle, I’m pretty sure everyone who is going to see this movie in theaters already has seen it, but here goes nothing… What Works: This movie about the Tuskegee airmen is obviously well-intentioned, well-crafted, well-acted, and has…

Few people caught this movie when it opened in early February, but that’s a real shame. I hope they catch this save-the-whales flick when it comes to DVD, although I do think the great Alaska visuals play best on a big screen. What Works: Okay, so right off the bat I was thinking “Who really…

I thought this movie would be the rare February thriller that was more than just a decent way to kill two hours. I was wrong. What Works: In a word: Washington. Denzel steals every scene he’s in as a rogue CIA spy with a file full of secrets that people are trying to kill him…

Note: I am GOING to spoil this movie. I am GOING to tell you how it ends and exactly all the ways that ending is a failure. Do not say I didn’t warn you, but you should really thank me as now you don’t have to see this piece of shit to know what happens….

By now everyone in the country should have seen this movie that’s going to, but just in case, I’ll clarify things for you: see it. Don’t wait for DVD. This movie is everything that none of last year’s superhero films were: fresh, intimate, populated with actual characters, and action that won’t put you to sleep….