Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

This film wants to be “Traffic” for online crimes instead of drugs, but the impact is softened at every turn because of a faux-Crash vibe. The film keeps telling us that everyone is human, and that soft emotional center really undercuts the movie’s would-be grittiness. What Works: Three interconnected stories following a teenager who meets…

This movie had the second highest weekend box office of all time (behind only The Avengers), far outpaced the first two films in the series, and is tearing up the international box office. And yet…does it matter that it’s just not very good? Or not only “not very good,” I would say arguably the weakest…

After weeks of duds, a movie I would actually recommend. The trailers are a little misleading (slight, vague spoilers from here) in that it makes it look like an indie-Heat with Bradley Cooper’s hot-shot beat cop chasing Ryan Gosling’s daredevil bank robber, but it’s really three different movies: Gosling’s traveling-circus-performer-turned-motorcycle-riding-bank-robber finds out he has a…

A textbook example of a bad movie with a great performance buried inside. This time delivered by none other than where-have-you-been?/always-welcome Rosario Dawson. What Works: Trance jumps off from an appealing premise: the never-compelling James McAvoy, who always sucks and sucks here, plays an art auctioneer who’s working with some hooligans to steal an expensive…

Elegant, sleek, and more than a little generic. What Works: This may be the first post-apocalyptic movie to ever be called “cozy.” There’s a relaxed, leisurely rhythm that goes perfectly with the very hi-tech style (just wait until you see what the actual villains are…to call them non-terrifying would be understating it). Tom Cruise and…

3D doesn’t add much to the experience of the original Jurassic Park movie, but I loved it as a kid and wanted to see it in theaters again… What Works:…Turns out, the real draw is seeing that T-Rex wreaking havoc on the big screen nearly twenty years later. In the 90’s, nobody could craft a suspense sequence…

Stephanie Myers (the Twilight author) strikes again. One of her books is the basis for this poorly received sci-fi film except that a lot of the same legions that stormed the theaters for Twilight didn’t show up to see this movie. That’s what really matters since nobody would much care what a critic thought of…

I didn’t expect much from G.I. Joe: Retaliation…and it sure didn’t deliver much. I hated the first movie, and, if anything, this one is even worse. Joseph Gordon-Levitt doesn’t reprise his villainous role, and Channing Tatum is in it for a total of ten minutes. [They supposedly held the movie’s release by a year so…

This is otherwise known as the movie where Disney “angels” (Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgins) fall. They, along with two anonymous and interchangeable white girls go on a drug and booze fueled Spring Break with a few of them (but not Gomez) participating in a robbery to get down there. The label of “Disney girls…

This movie is exactly what you would expect. It won’t surprise or challenge you in any way, and nothing rocks the boat as it sails toward a big family-first finish that packs a message. And yet, I enjoyed it. Your kids will love it, and I’d much rather sit through this than the last Ice…

This movie opened and died in theaters this weekend, and I can’t really say people that chose to skip it were missing a lot. However, it’s a likable, solidly B-grade dramedy that won’t leave you feeling too ripped off if you’re one of the few who stumbled into a theater before it’s gone in two weeks….

Honestly, there’s a part of me that feels so bad for this Steve Carell-Jim Carrey flop (that opened and died at the box office this weekend) that I’m tempted to take it easy on it. After all, it has some decent laughs, a pair of good supporting performances, and is clearly made with more heart…

This movie came out a month ago, and so nobody probably cares about it at this point, and I can’t really blame them, but don’t despair, there are plenty of new articles coming today. What Works: This action-“drama” starring none other than The Rock (in his “serious actor” mode, which feels even more patently fake…