Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

This movie sucked. It’s about an immortal angel/demon/Irishman/something or other played by Colin Farrell who is kept alive through miracles and love and puppies and rainbows even while the nasty demon played by Russell Crowe chases after him. What Works: There’s a thoroughly unexpected Will Smith cameo (he plays Lucifer) that temporarily jolted me out…

“An inexplicably popular movie starring Kevin Hart”–Told you I’d be using that phrase a lot. Except that the advertising (which plays up heavily Hart’s contemptuous romance with Regina Hall) is slightly misleading since this is really a romance between Michael Ealy/Joy Bryant and Hart/Hall are merely on the fringes. They’re the “best friends” but really…

“An inexplicably popular movie starring Kevin Hart” a phrase I feel like I’m going to be using a lot this year. What Works: Not much. This shitty buddy comedy is like every movie you’ve ever seen before and doesn’t try hard to be that different. The movie largely rests on Hart’s shoulders since he’s the…

The main “problem” with this George Clooney directed (and headlined) movie is that it should have been so much better than it is. What Works: How do you round up a cast that includes John Goodman, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, etc. and not make it more lively than this? Sure, Bill gets off a couple…

Maybe 100 people saw this movie back in January, and maybe that’s 50 too many. What Works: Not much. I guess Zac Efron acquits himself okay in smoothie mode, but the movie straight up wastes the rest of a really promising cast. What Doesn’t Work: Poor Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station) and Miles Teller (The…

Another fairly unmemorable January turd that I’m just now reviewing…Man, I wouldn’t even blame people if they weren’t reading this at this point. What Works: Kevin Costner keeps his movie star cool going strong. Kenneth Branaugh is an interesting villain. And some of the intrigue is decent. What Doesn’t Work: I’m not sure that Chris…

I have been seriously slacking with my movie reviews. In hopes of “making it up to you” I’m going to post several reviews today for movies that may no longer be part of the conversation, but I did see them so… What Works: This Josh Brolin/Kate Winslett romance involves an escaped felon played by Brolin…

This is a tough movie to grade and review because I was left with so many mixed emotions. It has the wild tonal shifts of a Tyler Perry movie (verbal comedy one minute and rage-inducing melodrama the next). It doesn’t quite feel real (I never really bought the odd-couple friendship of Judi Dench’s too gullible character and…

I love Alexander Payne (the director of contemporary classics “Citizen Ruth,” “About Schmidt,” “Election,” and “The Descendants”). So why don’t I love his latest film? It has, once again, gotten him nominated for Best Director. And it has, once again, been nominated for Best Picture. It is also, once again, centered around people we don’t…

Most people know “Her” as “that movie where Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with his computer,” and it may technically be that, but it’s also a terrific movie that has more to say about relationships in general than just an obscure, slightly-sci-fi angle. What Works: Roonie Mara gets the most out of her brittle beauty…

We’ve done foreign film roundups and anti-rom com roundups, and if it seems like I’m really struggling to find a common theme for these movies, well then…it’s because I am. Although technically, The Reluctant Fundamentalist and Una Noche could be considered immigrant stories, and, hey, even To the Wonder has a quasi-immigrant story in a French woman…

Everybody is pretty much over and done with this Oscar-ignored Coen Brothers film, so what better time than now to force you to read about it? I mean, what could be better than reading a mixed review of a film that has technically been in theaters for two months and nobody cares about anymore? What…

Did I enjoy this super-slow foreign language movie from the slightly overpraised Iranian director of A Separation? No. Do I think you will? Also no. This is one of those films that’s critically heralded because of its real flaws: it’s slow, it’s almost ludicrously somber and self-serious, every member of the main cast looks like they should…