Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

This is a tough one because on the one hand, I should be thrilled to watch a movie clearly made for adults (there’s been a grand total of 9 of them this year) and there’s not a zombie or superhero in sight, but the movie also isn’t very good. Do you give Robert Downey Jr. points for…

I wasn’t too surprised when this movie turned out to be bad, and no one else should be either… What Works: Ummm…well…uhhh…[crickets chirping]…Game of Thrones’ Charles Dance is always worth watching and he’s more menacing than ever as a very old vampire… What Doesn’t Work: So many things. For one, they tease out that Dance’s…

“Gone Girl” is a hard film to review because it’s based on a book I would consider to be a masterpiece of “genre” fiction (technically a mystery/thriller but really more a deep psychological profile of a psychopath and a marriage folded into a thriller framework), and unlike 99.99 percent of books, it was a monster…

A children’s film that is both visually unique and nasty. I enjoyed it as an art experiment, but will kids really enjoy a film where the human characters are more disgusting than the trolls? Maybe “enjoy” isn’t the right word… What Works: The movie contains a nice message about not listening to fear mongers or…

Two films (both based on something, either an old TV show or a book) opened recently that were very similar in plot structure—a once-great actor now known mostly for action roles (Denzel Washington, Liam Neeson) plays a retired hard-ass who gets mixed up in a shadowy crime web and tries to dismantle some sinister criminals…

Another generic young adult dystopian fantasy, but there are some solidly suspenseful moments. What Works: For a long while, the mystery of a moving, seemingly organic maze is fairly captivating. There’s a real atmosphere of suspense and dread in the first two thirds that hooks you. And it’s only after the movie is over that you realize…

As a novel, this book by Jonathan Tropper is just one of the 500-a-year “Jewish family dramedy” novels but as a movie it is a little different than the glut of sequels and remakes currently taking up screen real estate. And that uniqueness—-especially after such a stale summer—-might make the film feel more original and less generic…

Another film that never fully comes to life, but it does come a lot closer. “The Drop” is a slow-boiling crime film that doesn’t grab you but won’t fully put you to sleep either. What Works: James Gandolfini’s final performance is required viewing for cineastes, and he owns every scene he’s in. His “Cousin Marv”…

Blah Blah Blah…this movie is blah blah blah What Works: Chloe Grace Moretz can do no wrong, but here she comes pretty close. What Doesn’t: There’s just a general sleepiness at the core of this thing that really creates distance for the audience after a while. It’s ironic that a film about a young girl…

This movie came out over a month ago and defied all expectations to become an enormous crowd pleaser and the highest grossing film of the year (it’ll likely stay that way since the competition isn’t particularly robust in the Fall). But with the distance of time, does it really live up to the hype? What…

Not nearly as good as the first one, not even close. It’s too similar in all the wrong ways, and I can see why the crowds didn’t turn up the way they did for the first one. [This sequel is a major box office disappointment.] What Works: It’s great to see Rosario Dawson back in…

Just a cruddy and generic action movie that’s one of those “filmed and financed outside the U.S. with an aging action star” wanks that should have went straight to Red Box but because late August/early September has such ridiculously low competition they decided to release it in theaters. What Works: Pierce Brosnan hasn’t lost much…

This is that “tornado” movie that opened a month ago and nobody much cares about now, but I had to sit through it which means I might as well review it… What Works: So the bar is set pretty low for tornado movies, as “Twister” may be the gold standard bearer for them and it’s…