And they wonder why America is so fat: You can’t have a commercial with a Dr. Pepper, Doritos, McDonald’s, etc. commercial. When’s the last time you saw a fucking commercial for lettuce? I’ve lost a little weight since the beginning of the year through a diet of spontaneous vomitting after watching John Boehner cry about…
Author: Alabama Liberal
Now What? (Life Post-Grad): The Ocean of Promotion, How to Make a Drop in the Bucket in a Sea of Advertising
From the time you get up in the morning to the time your head hits the pillow that night, you have probably been exposed to (roughly) 1,000 different advertising messages. An exact count is impossible to determine as some Unibomber-ish nut living in a log cabin in Montana might not be exposed to any advertising…
Working Class Economist: The Hidden Cost of Denying Planned Parenthood Funding
I’ll keep this short as the one thing I know Republicans will come on here and comment about is abortion. The wealthy conservatives that actually control the Republican Party won’t really care enough to comment on millionaire tax breaks or will sidestep the drama of having to actually talk to a working class person. However,…
The Fast Food Critic: Meet the New Dominos, Same as the Old Dominoes
Note from last week: I now believe it was NOT subway that made me sick. So apologies Subway, but that sandwich was still disgusting and unhealthy. Anyway, this week is media issues week and there is no better food to cover than Dominos pizza which last year launched the rarest marketing campaign of all: commercials…
Red State vs. Blue State: AL vs. Anti-Union Andy, Round 1
Today I debate one of the wealthiest guys I know who’s always been vehemently anti-union. He’s also an all around fiscal conservative blowhard who routinely interrupts me whenever we have a conversation about economics (more theories to him than an actual impact on people’s lives), and usually to quote some Libertarian think tank or post…
Down & Out in Bumblefuck: The Rural News
Today is about crime and poverty. I’ll keep it short because nobody ever reads about it anyway. Recently US News published a list of the 11 most crime infested cities in the country and although you might expect to find perennial blue state hellholes like Baltimore and Detroit on the list, and even though they…
Gnomeo and Juliet, a Whole Different Kind of Survivor Story
[It might be in its 3rd week of release, but since this sucker just topped the box office, it’s gained a new relevance] If Sanctum is about survival under almost impossible odds then surely Gnomeo and Juliet is for myself. I survived one of the most bizarre children’s films in history while in a theater…
Sanctum, When Australia Tries to do it Big American Style, and Makes all the Same Mistakes
[I waited four weeks to put up this review because there are spoilers, and I figure after a month no one will care…if they ever did] The new movie Sanctum is about a team of Australian cave divers who get trapped in a cave during a monsoon and get picked off one by one by various…
Entertainment Editorial: If I See Anymore 3D Movies, I’m Going to Hang Myself in 4D
Alright so that headline doesn’t exactly make sense, but what does make sense to studio executives is that 3D movie tickets cost more, so they release as many 3D movies as possible. About a decade ago, the closest you got to a 3D movie is the god-awful Spy Kids 3D which asked you to wear…
TV Review: The Cape, NBC Flushes the Toilet Again
I’m not going to spend this whole review talking about NBC’s troubles (they’ve been well documented from everything to Conan O’Brien to 30 Rock making fun of their own network nearly every week), or even call them the worst broadcast network out there (that would actually be CBS, who are the top rated network through…
Mom Jokes: Traveling Through Arizona
I was traveling between Phoenix and Ajo the other day south of Gila Bend when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town. The first vehicle to stop was an old…
Sunday’s Sermons: Why Jesus Would Support Unions
If you don’t know by now, Wisconsin’s unions (except for the police unions which supported Walker and are exempt from his changes) are in a fight for their life against Wisconsin’s Governor Scott Walker. It won’t surprise anyone reading a site called Alabama Liberal that I’m firmly on the side of the unions, but it…
Bubba’s Sex Tips for a Seductive Evening: Tip 3: Tiger Moms, a Better Class of MILF
First I’d like to take an irrelevant moment to point out my excitement over Microsoft Word recognizing the word MILF and not saying it’s a typo. However, if you try to get away with not capitalizing each initial, it won’t accept that as “correct” and maybe it shouldn’t since saying Mom I’d Like to Fuck…