The “Part 1” of that title is either a threat or a promise depending on your perspective on nasty, greasy, unhygienic things, but enough about the people of rural Minnesota who showed up in droves for the fair…Recently, I had the pleasure/displeasure of sampling some of the worst calorie bombs around at the Minnesota State…
Author: Alabama Liberal
Ariel Castro is Dead, but It’s Not a Suicide
For those that don’t know——or wish they didn’t——Ariel Castro is the Ohio man who held three young girls hostage for the better part of a decade until one of them broke free and called the cops. I’m the biggest advocate of “innocent until proven guilty” you’re likely to meet, but there is no question of…
TV Review: TNT’s “Cold Justice” is Possibly the Most Destructive Reality Show to Date
TNT’s new reality show “Cold Justice” (following two female crime solvers getting paid to solve cold cases) isn’t just devoid of real entertainment value——-it’s essentially a lurid Dateline special swallowed up by static, repetitive scenes of telling us the same five “facts” over and over again———it also could get innocent people locked up. This is…
Comedy Central Roast of James Franco
I have missed as many of these Comedy Central Roasts as I have seen, and it usually just depends on whether or not one is on when there’s nothing else to watch, and tonight’s certainly fit that criteria. [A Labor Day monday at nine o’clock? Yep, I’m pretty sure I’m free.] Plus, I was curious…
Movie Review: “The Spectacular Now” See it Now
An excellent indie now getting a nation-wide theatrical release, and it couldn’t have happened to a better underdog-film. What Works: This is the story of a high school senior (Miles Teller) who is the life of the party, and always in the moment. That’s mostly because he’s always drinking. There are few moments of the…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Closed Circuit
A movie I wanted to like more than I did, and yet I will absolutely recommend this movie. In a world where a smart, adult thriller can gross a pitiful 3 million dollars on opening weekend and it can’t even get a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, somebody has to be a champion for the underdogs. What…
Movie Review: The Astoundingly Bad “The Getaway”
One of the worst movies I’ve seen this year. I kept rubbing my eyes together, wondering if what I was seeing was really as crumby as I thought. If a movie about a race car driver (Ethan Hawke…not exactly on creative fire after this and The Purge) forced to complete a series of mysterious tasks…
Movie Review: You’re Next
For months before this film was released there was crazy-good buzz coming off of it. Entertainment Weekly repeatedly wrote articles saying “Here comes your next horror obsession” or “Is ‘You’re Next’ the Next Big Horror Hit?” Well, the film opened well below expectations last weekend and there was exactly one other person in the theater…
Movie Review: Percy Jackson 2: Sea of Monsters
The review you’ve been waiting with baited breath for. [eye roll] Don’t worry, I’ve got much more current films scheduled all throughout the day, so keep checking back. What Works: The acting is bad, the pacing is worse, the direction is shoddy, and the dialogue is terrible. So what makes Percy Jackson any good? I…
TV Reviews: Breaking Bad, The Bridge, Longmire
Pivotal episodes on three of TV’s tensest dramas… Breaking Bad…The best show on TV, period. I’m sad there are now only four episodes left and it looks like the partnership between Walter White and Jesse is permanently damaged. That being said, I’ve never liked Jesse that much, and don’t agree with the notion that…
Miley Shocks, Trump Swindles, and Some REALLY Don’t Want Affleck as Batman
Miley Cyrus made “news” (celebrity news) this week when she danced erratically on-stage with an understandably uncomfortable Robin Thicke while making Jim Carrey-circa-1995 faces with an enormous drunken teddy bear in the background. Somewhere, Billy Ray Cyrus is wondering why he wasn’t asked to play the teddy bear. Against all odds, Donald Trump’s online University,…
Entertainment Editorial: Some of My Favorite Elmore Leonard Books (and Adaptations)
R.I.P. Elmore Leonard, and now it’s time to look back at some of my favorite Elmore Leonard books (and adaptations). I haven’t read them all (I don’t think I’ve read a single one of his Westerns, preferring his crime fiction period instead), but I’ve read more than a dozen and these are my favorites. I…
TV Reviews: Devious Maids, Camp, Drunk History, and Futurama
Only a few hours ago, I reviewed a stone-sober Israeli/Palestinian conflict drama that deals with suicide bombings and marital trust. And so now, naturally, I must review “Summer Fun” shows that revolve around drunk people telling stories and a soap opera about Spanish maids who almost never speak Spanish. Although honestly, if you’re looking for…