Of all the new “movie stars” in the last decade that make no sense to me (Vin Diesel, Ludacris, hell, the entire Fast and Furious cast) the one that makes the least sense is Russell Brand. This guy is supposed–supposed to being the key word–be this hard partying, R rated, boundary pushing asshole, but the problem is: he’s not really edgy at all. What Brand is is extremely British (he’s probably the one guy on the planet who still thinks the word “winky” is funny as a euphemism for dick) and fussy. You can’t be this tea sipping, “winky” saying, uber-British queen and then build this whole career around you being a rebel. Brand is a dark side devil with no real dark side. He likes to drink and screw women–yawn–wake me up when we find the dead hooker in his trunk.
What Works: Not Brand’s casting, that’s for damn sure.
What Doesn’t Work: If Russell Brand got ebola virus, I would feel sorry for the virus.
What I Would Have Done Differently: Not casted Brand in this movie. That way we wouldn’t have to believe that a greasy heroin addict who looks like the love child of Monty Python and Aerosmith would have Jennifer Garner BEGGING him to sleep with/marry her, and he bases a whole movie off refusing her.