So what in the hell does that awkward title mean? It means that I recently took a very long international roundtrip on an airplane (more about where I went tomorrow, but I think most readers will be in for a surprise) and one of the only things keeping you sane back in coach—-where I was seated next to, yes, a crying baby for a 15 hour flight, the ultimate cliche—-is being able to watch some movies. And since I was bored out of my mind and looking for any distraction, it was a great opportunity to watch ten movies that had somehow slipped through my fingers in the last year. So now, the finale ten 2011 movies I’ll bother you with…
1. We Need to Talk About Kevin: A real disappointment for me. I’ve heard raves about the book and of course there was a long time when it looked like Tilda Swinton might be nominated for Best Actress for her work here as a mother coping with a son who commits a horribly violent act, but this movie really missed the mark in almost every regard. For one thing, it practically drowns itself in completely unnecessary quirkiness, that (I guess) is meant to take the edge off what Kevin does, but for me it just felt like a cheap out for a movie that isn’t really mature enough for its tone and subject matter. Think of Wes Anderson doing a remake of The Omen and maybe you’ll get why this doesn’t work. Grade: C-
2. The Artist: Some might be confused why I’m listing it here when I had already discussed how overrated I thought The Artist was. Well, the confession I have is that I hadn’t seen the film from start to finish and had only watched part of the movie up until now. Having seen the whole thing, I can say that yep, it’s extremely overrated. Trying to make not just a silent black and white film but one in the exact same style as the films from the 20’s is an interesting idea, but there’s just nothing special about this film other than it was made in 2011 instead of 1921. Once you get over the initial gimmick, it’s “okay, what else you got…” and the answer is nothing. The movie works on exactly one level, and I can’t say it’s one that stayed with me long afterwards. Worth watching to see what the fuss is all about, but it’s hard to imagine anyone bending over backwards to see it twice. Grade: B-
3. Pina: This is a documentary about the famed German choreographer Pina Bausch, and (naturally) made in the most unusual style possible by legendary iconoclast Wim Wenders. He doesn’t do a traditional biography so much as an art mood piece showcasing several of her dances and interviewing people that worked with her. I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t tipping the pretentious scale a little bit, but if you embrace the froufrou of it and don’t fight it too hard, you will be won over by the obvious skill the dancer’s display, in its way the best possible testament to the doc’s subject. Grade: B-
4. A Separation: This Iranian film was this year’s winner for Best Foreign Film and even though I wasn’t quite in love with it, I can see what all the acclaim was about. To describe the plot in depth is to give away the film’s surprises but in the very first scene we see the central couple talking directly to a judge trying to get permission for a divorce, and I think that perfectly sets the tone for the type of religious police state the rest of the movie slowly drops us into. In its way, A Separation is an Alice-in-Wonderland-type movie where we’re dropped into a strange world in which a woman’s miscarriage can be counted as murder and people can be put in jail for failing to pay their creditors. So basically, what America would look like if the Tea Party got everything they’re asking for. Grade: B+
5. The Iron Lady: Another big disappointment. This Margaret Thatcher biopic won Meryl Streep her third Oscar, but I’d be surprised if this is really a performance anyone remembers in ten year’s time. Of course, I don’t like Margaret Thatcher much (she’s been accurately described as the female Bush or proto-Palin) but I do think she’s an interesting enough figure to make a good movie out of. The problem is that the movie isn’t interesting to political buffs (it never delves deep enough into the disconnect between Margaret being the only woman in the room and her complete lack of sympathy for anyone who doesn’t achieve her level of success nor does it explore the contradiction between being Britain’s first female PM and having old fashioned ideas about literally everything else) and waaay too much of it takes place in Margaret’s dismal last years as she suffers from Alzheimer’s while communicating with her dead husband. The flashback heavy structure never really finds a present tense and it haphazardly introduces characters without bothering to explain who any of the characters we’re meeting are. Grade: C-
6. Tyrannosaur: Another big disappointment (maybe I’m picking up on why I didn’t get around to seeing these) about an abused wife in England who strikes up a…we’ll call it a friendship with a random guy she encounters. The movie has a major structural problem right off the bat because it foolishly makes the random guy the central character, and he’s not much better than the woman’s husband (the guy’s first scene involves him killing a dog…a real peach). Where the movie should be delving deeper into the female lead (a vulnerable Olivia Colman who’s the best thing in the movie) and her inner terror, it keeps retreating into spending time with an emotionally shutdown blowhard we never really care about. In the end, the horrible abuses on display feel more like cheap ways to grab your attention than a film that really has anything new to say. Grade: D
7. Coriolanus: Ralph Fiennes directorial debut is an adaptation of the Shakespeare play. It takes place in a contemporary Rome where all the actors speak classic Shakespearian dialogue (oh yeah, it’s that kind of movie) and involves Fiennes’s general getting exiled by feckless politicians but eventually joining forces with Gerard Butler’s rebel leader, his sworn enemy. I admired Fiennes style and flair for updating material like this and in particular enjoyed Vanessa Redgrave’s ferocious performance as his mother, but the film is a little bit less than all of its parts. Grade: B
8. Senna: This documentary is about famed formula 1 driver Senna, who grew up on the hard scrabble streets of Brazil to become one of the biggest formula one drivers of the 70’s. An exciting, pulsating documentary that was the only thing standing between me and falling asleep as I entered the last leg of the flight. Grade: B+
9. Win Win: Something a little lighter and more conventional than the films that came before it, but also something I have a much easier time recommending. It’s about a down-on-his-luck lawyer (is there any other kind that could be played by Paul Giamiatti?) who agrees to be the legal guardian of an elderly man (Rocky’s Burt Young) so he can get the monthly check from his estate. Things get complicated when the elderly man’s grandson (running from a mom in rehab) shows up. A great cast that includes Bobby Cannavale, Jeffrey Tambor, and the terrific Amy Ryan (who in a perfect world would be snagging the kind of parts Tilda Swinton is messing up with her complete lack of warmth) make this a small triumph. Grade: B+
10. Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop: It’s hard to believe that out of all the movies on this list (so many of which have won Oscars…so many of which have sucked) the one I’m recommending the strongest is Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop. It details Conan’s struggles after he was fired from The Tonight Show by NBC (no pretending I’m not biased here, boo Leno!) and went on a national roadshow to put on his “Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on TV Tour.” The movie is very short at only 80 minutes but it manages to show Conan as mean-spirited, prickly, arrogant, angry, driven by insecurity, and absolutely likable. One of the single best concert docs I’ve ever seen and one of the only ones that made me really feel like I knew a performer after it was over with. [Just ask yourself if Leno or Jimmy Fallon would ever let us get to know them this well.] Not just a B+, slightly funny doc of a comedian, but a really good portrait of any artist getting knocked around by the business people that ultimately have to pay their salaries. The elusive, panicky Conan is finally revealed to us and even though some fans might not like it, I respect the real him even more. Grade: A-
Bonus…
Fish Tank: So this movie actually came out in 2009 and not last year but it’s the movie that really gave Michael Fassbender (who had a pretty damn good 2011 with X-Men First Class, A Dangerous Method, and Shame) his breakout role as the shifty boyfriend to a single mom, who gets a bit too close to the mom’s teen daughter, a rough and rowdy London teen hiding a real human being behind a hooligan front. Great ending. Grade: B+