ALL 2021 Movies Ranked and Graded

Quick Note: Better late than never, Alabama Liberal was so far behind on his annual movies countdown that I wasn’t able to post it on New Year’s Day (a tradition) but nearly a month later. My apologies, but I think you’ll agree that 2021 was a pretty good year for movies, and hopefully find several to be excited about that you might’ve missed during the actual year…

The Worst Movie of 2021: “Malignant”…There were lots of contenders this year (I had an entire “Worst 10” I had to narrow down), but “Malignant” is inexplicably fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, and I think that might be more offensive than the rest of the worst. This is an ugly movie in every way–muddy cinematography, cheap (and unconvincing) special effects, lousy performances, and a plot that is so gross it’s cynical. This is one of those “bad old days” mid-00’s horror movies that is more likely to make you sick than scared. Many recent Blumhouse offerings tilt towards genuine suspense, lighting that costs more than $10, and actors you’ve heard of, so “Malignant” is definitely a step in the wrong direction.

Runner-Up: “Prisoners of the Ghostland” F+…Nicolas Cage made some surprisingly good movies this year, but this isn’t one of them. “Prisoner” is the right word for how you’ll feel watching this tedious, community-theatre level mess. One of those movies that thinks just jamming together lots of weird elements is the same thing as genuine creativity.

163. “Malcom and Marie” D-…”Europhia”‘s overrated Sam Levinson isn’t black, his wife’s not black (she also produced this movie), and his famous father (Barry Levinson) he owes his career to definitely isn’t black. But as a defense mechanism against criticisms that his movie is cultural appropriation, he has the John David Washington character rant and rave about reviewers obsessed with a director’s race as a cynical way to safeguard himself. But if you can get past Washington’s self-conscious diatribe–and it takes up a good chunk of the movie, so it’s hard to see much else–you’ll see a movie that actually is stereotypical garbage. There’s only two characters on screen, and it’s filmed in pretentiously claustrophobic black-and-white cinematography (lots of movies used this gimmick much better in 2021), so you’re essentially held-hostage as Washington screams at Zendaya for 100 minutes. She is the promiscuous, drug-addicted black woman, and he is the melodramatic, raging hothead. Neither is anything but a one-dimensional character. Which brings us to…

162. “Passing” D-…I know this movie is supposed to be “great,” but this is another case where dated, stereotypical material centered around black American characters is fumbled by a white director with no real affinity for it (the very British, lily-white actress Rebecca Hall) but who’s hunting critical acclaim. Sometimes, the phrase “cultural appropriation” is very lofty and ill-used, but what else would you call it when someone who’s not black or American or interracially married decides to “update” a 100-year old piece of black American literature to hunt for Oscar gold? What other connection to this material could she possibly have other than “This is the kind-of shit the Academy usually goes nuts over; plus it reminds black women to stay in their lane with the tragic ending. And I like that.”

Hall doesn’t understand the unique friendships between black women at all, and you can feel that in practically every frame, which is soaked in jealousy, wariness, and competition. The result is not only less than convincing, but more than a little corny. This is the kind-of film that is so unsubtle, they have the Alexander Skarsgard character announce that he hates black people (he uses a slur instead of calling them black people) in the first minute he’s on-screen; oh, you know, just as people do when they meet a woman for the first time. In its way, this movie makes decades-old melodramas like “Pinky,” “Imitation of Life,” or “I Passed for White” look nuanced.

161. “Apex” D-…Nothing terribly offensive in this movie, just a genuinely lousy, going-through-the-motions Bruce Willis thriller. Although Willis has finally found a role he can’t half-ass because the rest of the movie is barely trying at all.

160. “Needle in a Timestack” D…A pretentious, vague, and tedious snooze that once again believes black/white interracial couples have no right to exist (this is becoming a John Ridley specialty, as proven in “Guerrilla” or “American Crime” season 1). Even though we don’t see Cynthia Erivo and Leslie Odom really having that deep of a connection (their biggest scene of wedded bliss is them sitting in an apartment debating whether they had a cat or not, no real sparks visible), I guess the fact that they look more similar than Erivo and Orlando Bloom do makes total sense that we’re supposed to find him villainous for wanting his wife back. Long stretches of the movie go by where nothing much happens and the stuff that could be interesting is completely glossed over, with the end result being one of those personality-less Indies that practically disappears as you’re watching it–a fitting symbol for a movie with a nagging fogginess at its core.

159. “Intrusion” D…Speaking of lousy Frieda Pinto-starring movies that go out of their way to dump on interracial couples, check out this implausible-yet-unsurprising Netflix “thriller” you can figure out in the first 10 minutes. Or better yet, don’t check it out. You can make better use of your time by doing things like painting a wall and watching it dry or measuring your grass or going outside to watch two snails race. All of them will be almost as exciting and possibly less predictable.

158. “Home Sweet Home Alone” D…Disney movie executive: “Okay, let’s do a ‘Home Alone’ movie where you’re rooting for the burglars to stuff our annoying, inexplicably-British protagonist into a garbage can and loot his whole house.” Saying an idea like that out loud should’ve been the end of it, but instead we’re treated to a “Home” movie where the entire “burglary” is a misunderstanding, you feel sorry for characters you’re seeing tortured, and the kid is basically Ricky Gervais Jr., and almost as likable. “Home” movies are supposed to be wish fulfillment for every kid who would love to go nuts with no parental supervision, but this one’s closest wish fulfillment is when the end credits finally roll.

157. “Cherry” D…Tom Holland is not a very good actor. I know that might sound like blasphemy to many of you (who go nuts for his mannered, “aww shucks mister” little kid Spider-Man performances), but he’s genuinely lousy when he steps out of his comfort zone–as proven by last year’s dismal “Devil All the Time” and this equally-turgid “drama.” Yet he somehow keeps getting cast in downbeat, gritty middle-American dramas where he sticks out like a sore thumb.

156. “The Woman in the Window” D…This terrible “Rear Window” knock-off stars Amy Adams as an agoraphobic woman that happens to witness a murder by sitting near her window. Probably the only reason this movie isn’t ranked lower is because so many other critics have done the work of savaging it for me, and I preferred to focus on movies they might’ve missed or positively reviewed. As an added minus, the movie casts Anthony Mackie as Adams husband only to kill him off tragically, yet another example of Hollywood’s horrendous treatment of interracial couples. We’re only ten movies into this countdown, and half of them contain a tragic or negative portrayal.

155. “Music” D+…You may not know what to think about Sia’s autism “musical.” She certainly puts it on the line, but the end result might make you feel more like a hostage than a viewer. “Dancer in the Dark” proved that great musicals can be made from bleak circumstances (the main character’s real guardian dies in the first few minutes of the movie, and Kate Hudson’s drug-courier relative hardly seems capable) and putting us inside a misunderstood protagonist’s viewpoint. But Sia makes the baffling decision to film the entire movie as a romp through a candy store, not contrasting her Target-commercial musical sequences nearly enough with the rest of the movie, which should have a grittier feel.

154. “Endangered Species” D+…I was torn between whether “Apex” or “Endangered Species” was the year’s worst action thriller, but “Species” at least attempts to create characters and a unique setting (a dumb-ass family on safari are endangered by the elements, then poachers). Still, it’s all in the execution, and this thing doesn’t seem to realize how little we would care for its imperiled family and the daughter’s sleazy boyfriend or that watching the father of the family get yelled at for the duration would be tedious for an audience. Other than clubbing us over the head with how little love there is for this man who is destined to die, there’s not much else to this cheap thriller, but at least Jerry O’Connell’s villain has an interesting death scene.

153. “Venom 2” D+…Another negative portrayal of a black/white couple in a 2021 movie (I honestly believe the 60’s were more positive than contemporary cinema), this time as the serial killing villains Venom must do battle with. Even fans of the popular original have to admit that this sequel is surprisingly-lousy. The short running time (it’s barely 90 minutes minus credits) almost feels like the creators are conceding they don’t have a compelling story to tell this time out.

152. “Space Jam: A New Legacy” D+…Lebron James is a great basketball player, and as an actor…boy, what a great basketball player. He may be a little bit more camera-smooth than Michael Jordan, but that’s not saying a lot. Critics were so bored watching this thing, many devoted a good chunk of their reviews to talking about the “controversy” surrounding a desexualized Lola Bunny (voiced by Zendaya). If that’s what people find interesting, that means the bulk of the movie is pretty dry. Plus, it’s a little hypocritical that Don Cheadle’s villain is a content-monopolizing algorithm wanting to devour the world’s IP when this movie only exists because it is an unoriginal concept Warner Bros. thought people would want to see out of nostalgia for the original.

151. “Boogie” D+…Speaking of basketball movies that aren’t very good, there’s “Boogie.” One of the many indie dramas this year that gets revved-up on a scenario it doesn’t know where to go with (you’ll read about “Monday” and “No Man’s Land” in a bit). There’s an undercooked plot and vague ending, the lead is charisma-less, his character largely uninvolving, and Taylour Paige is a captivating, magnetic actress, but she’s probably reached the age limit of being able to convincingly play a high school student. The best scenes in the movie really have nothing to do with Boogie or basketball, but flashbacks involving his parents in China and their hopes for their young son–almost as if the movie is centered around the wrong character.

150. “Coming 2 America” D+…I know there are people who would fight me for putting this movie so low, but this thing runs solely on nostalgia for the original. I defy anybody who hasn’t seen the original to watch this turkey and tell me it’s a good movie. If you’re going to revive a looooong dormant piece of IP, then do it right (“Blade Runner 2049”) or don’t do it at all. This is one beloved film they should’ve left alone.

149. “Falling” C-…I wanted to give this movie a higher grade than what it’s receiving as the very worst of the “C-” movies. Viggo Mortensen (who stars, writes, and directs here) has certainly come up with an-all-too-relatable scenario: a misanthropic, anachronistic, dementia-suffering parent lives much longer than anyone around him has a use for, but Mortensen portrays this as meandering, repetitive anti-drama. The main character (Lance Henrikson in the present day) has no charm, no insight, and no real redeeming qualities whatsoever, but the movie refuses to do anything other than have everyone around him patiently tolerate it. It never becomes a thriller, a tearjerker, a cathartic drama, or even really a character study (Henrikson remains aloof and unknowable in a way that Anthony Hopkins in “The Father” wasn’t). Towards the end, Mortensen finally explodes, and comes damn close to asking the movie’s only real question: “What motivates someone like his father to stay alive? Do they even know?” but backs away from even attempting an answer.

148. “We Broke Up” C-…Watching a couple break up in the first five minutes, but then pretend to be together at the (say it with me now) “sister’s wedding!” That contrived setup might’ve been perfect for a movie that could’ve easily been made–and would’ve probably been more fun–in the 90’s. Instead, this is yet another example of Hollywood’s aversion to black/white couples. William Jackson Harper and Aya Cash certainly seem more right for each other than her sister and the sleazy dumb ass she’s marrying (that she’s known for a month), but the latter couple is same-race so we’re told repeatedly that they’re “meant to be.” And you would have to be told that since the evidence isn’t on screen.

147. “Things Heard and Seen” C-…One of the more curious flops of the year. It’s essentially a Lifetime movie dressed up as a restrained prestige drama; it’s handsomely photographed, attention is paid to character, and it’s well-acted, especially by Amanda Seyfried as the (sigh) “woman whose husband has secrets!” And yet, a truly down-and-dirty, garish, more fun take on this material might’ve goosed its lackluster pacing and oddly repetitive structure a lot more. One of the few cases where making it “worse” might’ve been making it better.

146. “Stray” C-…This isn’t really a bad movie, but it’s about a stray dog roaming the streets of Turkey. Move over Frederick Wiseman documentaries, there’s a new cure for insomnia! It might be an interesting idea to see how people interact with a stray dog and what that reveals about themselves, but there’s something truly unmoving about the actual execution. Maybe that’s because of the Heisenberg Principle stating that the mere act of observing changes something, and most people might not really spill their guts to a dog that has a documentary film crew following them.

145. “Red Notice” C-…A movie that feels designed to be a forgettable, audience-pleasing hit, and that’s exactly what it is. Three of the most blandly likable, stuck-in-a-rut actors (The Rock, Gal Gadot, and Ryan Reynolds) alive team up for something you’ll forget you’ve seen about 5 minutes after it’s over with. It’s a big, sloppy hit and potential franchise for Netflix, but you have to wonder if this is really what the people involved want to be spending years of their lives making.

144. “Felix and the Hidden Treasure” C-…If your kids will sit through “Felix,” then that’s terrific. But mine got restless watching this, and so it fails the most basic test of a cheaply-made, Z-grade animated film: giving your kids something to do for an hour or so during CoVid.

143. “The Starling” C-…Many might rank this dramedy lower, but at least it is attempting to tell a real story for adults in a low-key way instead of the usual-usual. I’ll watch this movie twice before I’ll see the “Red Notice” sequel, even if I have to concede that the movie’s title pest deserves to die (that McCarthy’s character goes out of her way to save it is far-fetched), many of the jokes don’t work, the structure can feel monotonous, and Chris O’Dowd’s character is insufferable. [This is the kind-of guy who checks into a mental health facility because he needs help, but goes to great pains to shit all over or push away anyone who’s actually trying to help him. He also doesn’t think it’s doing any good, but refuses to leave.] Still, the scenes between Melissa and Kevin Kline have a nice feel.

142. “Blackout” C-…An experimental film that probably sounded better on paper than the end result.

141. “Bingo Hell” C-…Some people will probably go nuts for this “Midnight Movie,” but it feels longer than it is, and is memorable (to me) for grossing me out more than anything else.

140. “No Man’s Land” C-…Nice scenery, but beyond meandering and repetitive. The film would like to be less an indie thriller than a drama about the true weight of guilt, but the character dynamics never truly make sense. The hero is so unrelentingly noble and self-tortured over a fatal accident that his guilt has no real dimension to it; the narrative needs him to feel it more than the audience can access it. People looking for a similar story would probably rather watch something a little more generic (and clearly directed), like the Liam Neeson thriller “The Marksman.”

139. “Tom & Jerry” C-…A little bit like “Space Jam 2,” this is another sequel and cartoon/live-action hybrid that doesn’t feel like it should exist, and nobody involved is trying very hard to change that feeling. Long-time fans of the original cartoon will probably be the most disappointed.

138. “Every Breath You Take” C-…Casey Affleck sleeps through another performance as a family man therapist trying his best to reveal the bad intentions of the insidious brother of a dead patient. Well-lit and nice supporting performances, but this is one “twisty” thriller that never kicks into gear, and a coma patient could probably figure out its plot twists thirty minutes before they happen.

137. “Mortal Kombat” C-…Action junk that might satisfy the bloodlust of those eager to see this franchise resurrected, but the non-diehards might wish the plot was more than elaborate non-sense, and the fight scenes aren’t particularly memorable either. Speaking of…

136. “Shang-Chi and the Ten Rings” C-…Oh yes, audiences and critics definitely loved this movie more than I did, but I’m not sure I could describe the plot of this with a gun to my head. It feels like those cheesy, poorly-conceived Chinese mega-budget movies where ninja spirts fight ancient monsters from another world…or something, and none of it really makes sense, but there’s lots of CGI-ed Kung Fu so nobody really cares. Nothing here pushes the envelope or really wants to pull an audience into its beautiful non-sense. Still, Simu Lee could go on to be a major star; he does as well as anyone could with the dialogue and scenarios presented.

135. “Spider Man: No Way Home” C-…I’m not sure what irritated me more: Tom Holland’s Opie-Taylor-as-Spiderman performance OR the complete deletion of his romance with Zendaya’s character (another example of lousy writing for black/white couples in movies) OR the structureless, repetitive pacing OR the way it kept trying to “rewrite” movies that are far superior to it (like taking the edge out of previously-classic villains).

Yes, I’m mostly alone in thinking Tobey Maguire’s “Spider Man” movies are much better than Holland’s (especially Sam Raimi’s “Spider Man 2”), but most franchises at least have the good sense to not try to mess with their predecessors too much. [Sure, Christopher Nolan could’ve spent his “Dark Knight” trilogy fixing the abysmal “Batman & Robin,” but why?] Holland’s Peter Parker seems obsessed with protecting alternate-universe villains in a way that feels judgmental to his betters, self-righteous, and only underscores how “little kid” this Spider-Man actually is. Parker is now college-aged, and is too old (and too many movies in) to still be this naive. For example, he still thinks it’s more important to protect an alternative-universe villain’s life at the expense of his only living relative than to have anyone alive remember who he is. That’s not heroism so much as masochism. Still, Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield are wonderful, and the movie probably would’ve been ranked even lower without Maguire’s soulful, more-measured “Spidey” showing up (fairly late) into the movie.

134. “Beckett” C-…A bad movie that John David Washington is bad in. If he wants to fill Denzel’s shoes, it might help if he didn’t keep turning in performances like this or his overacting in “Malcolm & Marie.” Also, the killing of the Alicia Vikander character is yet another example of Hollywood’s abysmal treatment of black/white movie couples.

133. “The Power of the Dog” C-…I was surprised I didn’t like this movie more than I wound up liking it. It’s received critical raves (although those don’t mean what they used to, i.e. “Passing” and “The Lost Daughter”), but the story is often slow, uninvolving, vague, and afraid of itself. Benedict Cumberbatch is miscast as a closeted, bully rancher (Michael Shannon might’ve won an Oscar with this part), and you keep waiting for the movie to make him as truly “bad” as it keeps insisting he is. [He’s not exactly wrong about the opportunistic nature of and/or to be suspicious of his new sister-in-law and her son, as the latter proves.] It doesn’t help that he’s the only vividly drawn character on-screen (Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons are excellent actors but they practically blend in with the scenery here). Also, the ending cheats us of any real emotional catharsis as we’re waiting for a climax that never totally arrives.

132. “Old” C…A fascinating premise for a horror movie that isn’t executed or explored in a very interesting way. And perhaps that’s because M. Night Shymalan (a director who seems incapable of maturing, and kept mentioning his love of things young people like in interviews conducted for this movie) is not the right fit for a thoughtful, dread-soaked exploration of rapid aging. You might wonder what an aging horror maestro like Guillermo Del Toro or Sam Raimi could’ve done with the same material, and a chance to explore what it’s like to no longer be “new” or as “it” as they once were. The great horror film about how our society treats aging like a contagious disease to be avoided is still waiting to be made…

131. “The Conjuring 3” C…Similarly, a lot of people enjoyed this movie much more than I did, but this is–for me–the worst movie in the “Conjuring” series. Although the plot is a little bit more realistic than the first two entries, it also seems more ludicrous (Ed and Lorraine become action heroes now?). These are not characters we think would be much of a match for a real-life baddie, and I have to question just how loosely based this “based on a true story” actually is. Oh, and the movie’s not scary.

130. “The J Team” C…I will watch anything. Seriously, how many people would even consider watching a Jojo Siwa dance-off movie that went straight to Paramount+? But there’s a nice message about staying true to your friends, and the perils of wanting to win meaningless competitions (or letting dubious adults push you into wanting it more badly than you do) just for the sake of winning.

129. “The Eyes of Tammy Faye” C…Jessica Chastain’s latest attempt to get back in Oscar’s good graces (she’s been snubbed a lot lately for movies like “A Most Violent Year”), and maybe that’s why she mostly talks about “Faye” when she’s doing press rounds for “The 355.” But other than her performance–and it’s hard to get past how strange the casting of her as Tammy Faye Bakker actually is–there’s not much to the movie.

Andrew Garfield is completely miscast, the film seems afraid to really dig deep into the Bakker’s corruption (perhaps because Jim and Tammy’s kids were involved in the making), the overall approach feels a little too sincere for a pair of media characters like Jim and Tammy, and I’m not even sure Vincent D’Onofrio is well-cast as Jerry Falwell. I love that the movie took lengths to expose how awful Falwell truly was, but New York-bred D’Onofrio struggles mightily with the nasally, insidious Southern voice Falwell could use in a way that mimics charm. He plays Falwell as a religious mob boss anyone would be foolish to trust instead of the softer-touch snake he actually was.

128. “Clifford the Big Red Dog” C…It’s not an awful movie, but not a very good one either. The plot moves through its cycle easily enough, but in a way that rarely becomes truly charming. Also, you can detect a subtle Chinese influence throughout as Clifford is given a chance at salvation by China (yep, because China loves endangered animals so much) but is hunted by an American biotech company. This is a rather strange narrative for kids to absorb during CoVid, where the disease was allowed to spread by the Chinese government, but the vaccine is from an American company.

127. “French Exit” C…A step down for Azazel Jacobs after the terrific 2017 romance “The Lovers.” We’re supposed to be captivated by Michelle Pfeiffer’s exiled Karen, but why? Just because she’s a snide, wealthy white woman who doesn’t connect with anyone around her? She dominates the meandering, pointless narrative so thoroughly that you might miss good work by character actress Valerie Mahaffey, finally utilizing a chance to shine.

126. “Holler” C…This “down on their luck” working-class drama may be the exact opposite of “French Exit,” but it’s still a movie that’s trying too hard to be gritty and authentic in a way that feels naggingly inauthentic.

125. “Thunder Force” C...The idea of a movie centered entirely around middle-aged female superheroes is a good one, but “Force” is one of those Melissa McCarthy comedies that has no real laughs other than the great chemistry between McCarthy and Jason Bateman as a super villain built more like a carnival attraction.

124. “Army of Dead” C…Like “Force,” this would’ve been better if it stuck to its core competency: fight scenes where Dave Bautista does things like kill a zombie by slamming its head against a wall. But “Dead” tries to do too much ( a ridiculous corporate-conspiracy plot, an elaborate mythology for the zombies, more character development–and empathy–for the zombies than many of the humans) in addition to its zombie heist plot, and rarely feels as fun as it should. The best part of the movie is the entire mini-movie contained in the opening credits.

123. “Army of Thieves” C…Nathalie Emmanuel is allowed to show more personality than her thin-character in the “Fast and Furious” franchise (or “Game of Thrones”), but this is another film in the “Dead” franchise that keeps trying to trick up a standard, poorly-executed plot with extraneous subplots.

122. “The Electric Life of Louis Wain” C…The type of role Benedict Cumberbatch needs to start avoiding like the plague: a twitchy, mannered, Johnny-Depp-in-full-“quirk”-mode affectation. Yes, it’s nice that a British biopic is taking even a slightly creative approach to the usual-usual, but it still feels like they could’ve stylized it even more.

121. “A Quiet Place II” C…A movie I was surprised I didn’t like more than I did. I loved the first movie, but this sequel feels robbed of the same sense of suspense and surprise. The first movie had a great sense of claustrophobia and anything-can-happen rural dread established from the very first, horrific killing, and the pacing never dragged up to the riveting farmhouse climax. This one doesn’t have the inventive set pieces or intrigue, and feels longer than it actually is.

120. “Black Widow” C…David Harbor and Florence Pugh are clearly having a blast (they almost make it contagious), and the final battle in the debris of a disintegrating space base was cool. However, this is a movie that seems borderline afraid of its central purpose: to flesh out the backstory of Natasha Romanov. By the end, you don’t know that much more about her than you did going in, and I don’t think we’ve seen an MCU movie where the title character feels so much like an afterthought.

119. “Joe Bell” C…It’s heart is in the right place, but the movie wants us to sympathize with Mark Wahlberg’s character so much that it doesn’t deeply explores his softer-edged homophobia vs. the more visceral bullies his son was facing. Also, the experience of a man walking across America on foot doesn’t have to be a meandering one (“The Straight Story” was about a self-proclaimed “geezer” on a lawn mower, and it was excellent), but this movie isn’t evidence to the contrary.

118. “Bruised” C…A movie that is trying so hard to be gritty, it can sometimes feel ridiculous. Nearly every scene is over-the-top and bombastic as Halle Berry seems to blend “Rocky” and “Precious.” This is a movie that started as a Blake Lively vehicle (and she’s about the right age and physicality for the part), but wound up featuring the short, slim, 55-year-old Berry instead; we don’t see her actually fight all that much until the very carefully choreographed finale. And the structure of the movie (down-on-their-luck fighter connects with little kid as they try to stage a comeback) has been done for nearly a century.

117. “The First Wave” C…A fly-on-the-wall documentary capturing the early days of CoVid and hospitals getting overwhelmed with people doomed to die. It’s a story we’ve seen on the news for two straight years, and this context-free documentary isn’t really showing something we don’t already know. At what point does “Oscar-baiting, prestige documentary” become tragedy porn?

116. “Cinderella” C…You know exactly what this is going to be, and you’ll either crave the comfort food or feel you can just watch the trailer and save yourself some time.

115. “Flashback” C…A movie that wants to blow my mind, but wound up scrambling it. I’m not sure I could describe the plot of this movie with a gun to my head.

114. “The Guilty” C…Jake Gyllenhaal is a tortured 911 call operator in this surprisingly flat melodrama. There’s not much else on-screen besides Gyllenhaal’s performance (and he does a nice job of bringing out the paranoia, almost making it seem like there’s more going on than there really is), but it would be hard for any actor to hold our attention with just this scenario for a full-length movie.

113. “Jolt” C…Kate Beckinsale becomes super-enhanced when very, very angry. That’s a pretty good setup (and there are a few cathartic scenes, like when she beats a rude waitress silly), but this movie never pushes its premise to maximum-silliness (or gonzo fun) like “Crank.” Too much of it feels all-too-respectable (including the presence of Stanley Tucci as Kate’s Dr. Frankenstein); making the film “worse” might’ve been better.

112. “The Marksman” C…Looks worse than it actually is, and the pace moves at a decent clip until the slightly-surprising final scene. Still, nothing to make any real effort to watch, and although Liam Neeson is pretty good, he’s also uhhh…”less than totally believable” as a Texas border rancher.

111. “The Suicide Squad” C…Like so many James Gunn works, this movie thinks it’s much more outrageous and complex than it really is. Gunn is a director known for patting himself on the back for his “creativity,” even though most of his best ideas are cribbed directly from comic books.

110. “The Lost Daughter” C…It may be blasphemy to keep dissing Netflix’s overpraised “Oscar bait” movies (this along with “Passing” and “Power of the Dog”), but critical praise can act as its own form of momentum to the point where people get lost in a trend more than really exploring what’s actually on screen. “Daughter” is a perfect example, as it’s not the best use of Greek scenery in a 2021 movie (that would be “Monday”) nor the best exploration of how past mythologies can hold the present hostage (“Pig” may have a lock there) nor even the most nuanced portrayal of complicated parenthood to oblivious kids (strong contenders include the underrated “Stillwater,” the overlooked “Ride the Eagle,” or the unfairly-maligned “The Unforgivable”). What we have is a slow, haphazardly-staged, tedious movie that is afraid of its real premise: mothers who wish they weren’t mothers to the point of possibly doing “something” about it. That thriller-ish aspect hovers around every frame, but the movie never so much as whispers the possibility, and the ending feels more oddly anti-climactic than insightful.

109. “Reminiscence” C…Borrows heavily from better, tighter science-fiction noirs, and the feeling while watching it is more like passing gas than blowing minds. Still, Rebecca Ferguson isn’t half-bad, and some of the set pieces that incorporate the flooded-scenery are nice.

108. “Hood River” C…A movie with the most noble of intentions (it’s about the different cultures that make up a rural Oregon soccer team), but maddeningly passive. Like soccer itself, some will love it, and others will be unfathomably bored.

107. “Mayor Pete” C…Pete Buttigieg may one day be President of the United States…and you can practically feel that overly-safe, slightly-programmed expectation hanging over every scene of this movie. Barack Obama was a master at making a carefully choreographed, mindful existence feel more spontaneous than it was, but “Mayor Pete” rarely comes across as anything but robotic and rehearsed. [The most alive I’ve ever seen Buttigieg is when he’s blasting ignorant reporters or commentators–like an ill-fated meeting with the NYT to discuss their endorsement or schooling Fox News schmoes–but this documentary takes great pains to buffer away that electric anger.] As it goes on, the documentary actually focuses more on Pete’s husband, who seems to chafe at the expectations placed on “the first husband,” and the conflict between how to be proud of your identity without making it into a cynical marketing hook would’ve been a good one for Pete himself to explore.

106. “In The Heights” C…I know, I know, I’m a real curmudgeon for ranking this musical so low. And yet, there’s just nothing here that we haven’t seen before (and better). Critics have been so eager to celebrate the film’s strong cultural aspects that they seem to have missed how stereotypical most of what’s presented is. This is the umpteenth movie that can’t seem to decide if someone’s less-than-wealthy birthplace is something to escape from or celebrate, and tries to paradoxically champion both. “In the Heights” takes the slightly-generic view that gentrification is evil, but it sure seems like opportunities are fewer without it. “Yeah, I’ll have to leave to reach my full options.” “Well, maybe we can bring some of those options to you–” “Hell no! Leave every brick and building exactly the same as it always has been! I’ll just live elsewhere and glorify it remotely.”

105. “Infinite” C…One of the most frustrating bad movies of the year, because you can practically hear the good movie right underneath the surface, clawing to get out. Reincarnation is a good device for a sci-fi actioner, but Mark Wahlberg looks downright confused for most of the movie (I wonder if this will be one of those “I didn’t really understand the script” movies actors sometimes cop to years later).

104. “Cry Macho” C+…Clint Eastwood’s meditation on the values of classic manhood (over the toxic masculinity embraced by gangsterism) has a very relaxed pace, but that may be more refreshing than boring, considering your viewpoint. This is probably the last film Eastwood will ever make–numerous characters remark on how half-dead he looks–and could be considered a sweet, nostalgic swan song if it is.

103. “Val” C+…Is Val Kilmer a misunderstood genius or a childish weirdo or maybe a little bit of both? Regardless of your opinion, this a good (but not great) deep dive into Kilmer’s life, his career, and especially his recent health battles that have severely challenged his ability to speak.

102. “Kate” C+…This movie has a beautiful final shot, some intriguing scenery on the streets of Tokyo, and a handful of terrific fight sequences. Still, you can tell where it’s going from the first few minutes, and it rarely even tries to elevate the standard plot.

101. “Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run” C+…Kids might enjoy it, but dutiful parents might feel more like hostages. Spongebob is a character you either love completely or find tiresome.

100. “The French Dispatch” C+…Wes Anderson still hasn’t made an outright “bad” movie, but this is the one I’ve found the most disappointing. The episodic structure makes it hard to care much about what we’re watching, and I’m not sure it’s enough to really soak a movie in “quirkiness” anymore. Anderson’s style is so distinctive, that I’ve realized his best movies usually play within a genre (caper comedy in “The Grand Budapest,” coming-of-age story with “Rushmore,” family animation with “The Fantastic Mr. Fox”) to make it a little more accessible for people not living inside his head. Some of the most interesting parts of this are the beautifully mysterious black-and-white photography and ghoulish art work of a mad painter; could we ever see a Wes Anderson horror movie? I can only dream…

99. “Summer of Soul” C+…This is 100% reliant on how much you like the music involved as there have been countless documentaries about the time period around this music (and this even hits all the usual-usuals: political assassinations, cultural change, civil rights battles). Many will be transported to afro-funk nirvana, while younger viewers might find their patience tested from performances that can feel more endless than transcendent.

98. “Godzilla vs. Kong” C+…Not as good as “Kong: Skull Island” nor as bad as “Godzilla: King of the Monsters.”

97. “Encounter” C+…I’ve always wondered why movies like this (a lone man against a supernatural conspiracy) never involve the hero actually being crazy? I fully welcome this return-to-reality entry in the “man fights ‘alien invasion’ thriller,” and the tension is palpable.

96. “The Eternals” C+…Performances range from soulful (Richard Madden) to stilted (Barry Keoghan and perhaps especially Angelina Jolie). The best part is the tug-of-war going on within Madden’s Ikaris (who’s like a dark Superman), and I can appreciate Chloe Zhao going for a more mature MCU movie. Still, it’s more “pretty good” than truly memorable, and the mid-credits scenes are flat-out bad, not inspiring much confidence “Eternals” sequels will be better.

95. “Archenemy” C+…As much fun as it is to watch Joe Manganiello staggering through as a defrocked superhero who most people think is a drunken bum, the animated sequences are so vivid and creative that you almost wish the entire movie was animated.

94. “The Little Things” C+…For a long time, this movie feels like a very familiar “serial killer on the loose” mystery-thriller. However, the ending is unexpected.

93. “Voyagers” C+…”Lord of the Flies” in space is an intriguing premise, and the movie is a decent, young-adult introduction to the perils of mindless fear and tyrants who promise to keep us safe when they’re the ones we should be afraid of. Still, the cast is deliberately flat in a way that feels monotonous as it keeps going, especially once they are no longer taking the mood-suppressing pills.

92. “The Manor” C+…In many ways, this is the horror movie “Old” should’ve been as an elderly woman moves into a nursing home where a sinister conspiracy appears to be targeting certain residents. Some scenes may be repetitive, but its short runtime keeps things moving smoothly enough, and the ending is a realistic commentary on the lengths people will go to in order to stay young.

91. “Without Remorse” C+…Well-staged action sequences, and fine performances. But it’s hamstrung by a tired ending “twist” that keeps up the false narrative that “Deep State” types want a war with Russia to unite the country, and they’re the only ones we really need to be afraid of. [Hollywood loves Chinese money to get bad movies funded, but aren’t they a little tired of making movies like “Geostorm” or “xXx: The Return of Xander Cage” anyway?] At a time where Russia is ready and willing to invade and reabsorb the Ukraine, rigging elections across “the West,” launching cyber-attacks, and actively pumping propaganda into the American public square, you wonder what the makers of “Remorse” were thinking. This is about as far from Tom Clancy’s source novel (and worldview) as you can get.

90. “False Positive” C+…The process of IVF (or IUI) treatments is fraught with paranoia, anxiety, and dread-soaked insecurities, and so it is a great world to set a horror movie. Also, Pierce Brosnan is the right actor to play an ambiguously nefarious doctor. But “Positive” isn’t scary at all, and makes the tonally odd decision to stage its most frightful scenes as gross-out comedy gags. And as social commentary, “Positive” often struggles to make it clear exactly what it’s saying–aside from a fear of masculinity so thorough it borders on homophobia (like a nightmarish, erotic dream sequence between Brosnan and Justin Theroux). 60’s/70’s feminist horror allegories like “The Exorcist,” “Rosemary’s Baby,” or “Stepford Wives” managed to get across their allegorical points effectively and be scary as hell.

89. “A Cop Movie” C+…A half-fictionalized meta-documentary that is actually undermined by its mid-movie twist. Once we finally meet the “real” couple at the heart of this story, you realize that you would’ve rather watched an actual documentary about them rather than what we spend the first 90% watching.

88. “All Light, Everywhere” C+…I won’t lie to you dear readers; I slept through a good chunk of this movie. It may very well have included mind-blowing points about the nature of vision, objective reality, and the intersection between literal and metaphorical blind spots (as the synopsis claims), but I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Sometimes even the most world-rocking subjects need a documentarian that knows how to present them to a mass audience with a bit of flair and visual engagement.

87. “Rumble” C+…Predictable plot, but inventive visuals in this monster-wrestling movie. If you squint you can find a good message about the peril of letting sports teams define your city and the standard of living there.

86. “Fathom” C+…Whales are fascinating, ethereal, beautiful, and moving creatures. It’s hard to make a completely bad movie about them, although this insomnia-curing documentary is pretty close. We needed to see more footage of the whales and/or the scientific explanations for how groundbreaking their communications are, and less footage of the scientists being tedious.

85. “Monday” C+…The beginning burns bright, and we eventually realize that that’s the chunk that makes up the entirety of most other movies (the explosive meet cute, first splash of sex, and even an airport scene where the guy convinces the woman to stay). Then the movie goes on for another 90 minutes or so to show us what happens at the end of most romantic movies…and also showcase why they maybe end before it does. The writer/director seems torn between making this a movie about what it takes for a couple to stay together, or being convinced that the woman (Denise Gough, who alternates between elegantly beguiling and off-kilter sexiness) would be better off if she left Sebastian Stan’s wastrel in the dust. It splits the difference and the result is a drama without a real arc and a romance with a couple that seem destined to break up. Still, it’s much more memorable than many of the movies I’ve technically rated higher.

84. “Nightbooks” C+…This movie is too scary for younger kids, but could be too poorly-paced for adults. Somewhere in-between is a middle grade audience that might let it occupy space in their imaginations for years to come.

83. “The Map of Tiny Perfect Things” C+…Time loop movies are a dime-a-dozen now, and if you want a romantic-comedy version, there are much better movies for you instead (the legendary “Groundhog’s Day” but also “Palm Springs”). However, there’s a reason there’s so many: they’re hard to resist, and you can’t help but wonder what you might do with all that extra time. The movie moves slow enough that your own wish fulfillment fantasies can take over, and after you’re done daydreaming, the teen romance will have arrived back at its central question: can you capture all the hidden things that make a single day wonderful? All the moments that are happening right now, but we aren’t even aware of it?

82. “Spirit Untamed” C+…In the age of CoVid, I have come to learn there is really no such thing as a bad animated movie. If kids will watch it for 90 minutes or so, the movie is “Godfather”-level quality in my house. “Spirit” is a good movie to put on while you do more exciting things like file your tax returns, but the traditional animation and Western-inspired scenery are truly beautiful.

81. “The Dig” C+…Beautiful scenery that almost becomes a character in itself, and a nice parallel between trying to rescue the treasures of the past while the present spins towards an oblivion that could erase the world (WWII). However, the movie makes the bizarre decision to sideline Ralph Fiennes interesting main character to explore increasingly obscure subplots (Lily James doesn’t appear until very late into the movie, but the movie devotes quite a bit of screen time to her closeted husband and burgeoning romance).

80. “Here Today” C+…Overlong, but a pleasant enough way to spend two hours, even if it coasts more than it soars. Also, I’m curious why Billy Crystal (who wrote and directed in addition to starring) seems hell-bent to be the first actor in history to typecast themselves. He’s also played “a legendary comic” in other recent projects like “Standing Up, Falling Down” or the movie “The Comedian”…or the TV show “The Comedians.” [In those last two similarly-titled works he played a version of himself.] He’s reached the age where each new project could be his last, and you have to wonder if this is really what he wants to go out with? Longtime buds Steve Martin and Martin Short are breaking new ground with projects like “Only Murders in the Building” while Crystal seems content to play versions of himself.

79. “Our Friend” C+…An Alabama-based movie that I wanted to like more than I did. Truthfully, there is something a little sad about Jason Siegel’s devotion to his college friend (Dakota Johnson) that the movie never addresses. [It brings up an unrequited crush early on, but never entertains the idea he’s living out a version of that as her surrogate husband while Casey Affleck is away on business]. The longer it goes on, the more opportunities it seems to cost him in both life and love, but the movie treats most of that with a shoulder-shrug. A slightly more curious movie might’ve wanted to explore the price of being such a good friend that you begin to treat their lives as your own.

78. “Munich–Edge of War” C+…Hardly groundbreaking, but this is a movie that’s stumbled backwards into being more timely than it otherwise would be by current events. It’s a story about how appeasing a tyrant never works (like Putin’s possible invasion of Ukraine), and also about how avoiding a war at all costs can sometimes lead to a much bigger war down the road (draw your own parallels with China, which the U.S. was reluctant to lift a finger against from the Korean War onwards, and now today imperils the world).

77. “Encanto” C+…Similar to “In the Heights,” Lin Manuel-Miranda sets up something paradoxical (why celebrate a family that doesn’t celebrate you?) and then retreats from digging deeper. None of that would stand out so much if “Encanto” bothered with things like a plot or antagonists or a story–this is no trek through the jungles of South America, but a slog through identity set almost entirely in a house–all of which you might think were necessary for an animated kid’s movie. Instead, “Encanto” settles to be a movie with (mostly) unmemorable songs, and a conflict it’s afraid to say out loud (how strong cultural expectations and traditions can sometimes smother individual identity).

76. “Raya and the Last Dragon” C+…Not bad for kids, but a little cheesy and generic compared to Disney’s usually superb animated fare.

75. “Peter Rabbit 2” C+…A much better movie than the obnoxious original. That may not be a high bar, but how many sequels can you honestly say are substantially, objectively better than the films that spawned them?

74. “The Unforgivable” C+…Sure, there were better movies in 2021 (as you’ll soon see), but this Sandra Bullock drama was a little bit better than you might’ve heard. There are some extraneous subplots and I wish it had been shorter and more focused, but at least Bullock is attempting to do something new. Once you get past some of the excess, there’s a genuinely good question at the center: is it better for Bullock’s little sister (though Bullock was practically her mother before her arrest) to know her or forget her completely?

73. “Bliss” C+…Possibly the best bad movie of the year (or the worst good movie of the year). This has some truly intriguing ideas and sequences, but I can’t pretend it’s presented in a coherent way. On the other hand, that’s also the point since it’s a reality-bending narrative. Oh well, the debate rages on…

72. “Extinct” B-…Critics were a little too tough on this animated film. After all, it’s not every day a movie is centered around doughnut-shaped extinct creatures time-traveling to save their species. This is definitely one of the more original family offerings of the year, and that’s more than welcome.

71. “Flora & Ulysses” B-…I don’t know, it’s about a squirrel or some shit. Nice message about family cohesion though, and similar to “Extinct,” this movie gets points for being more than a little strange. Like kids themselves, kid’s movies are better when they’re a little weird.

70. “The Courier” B-…Benedict Cumberpatch’s civilian agrees to become a reluctant spy for England during the height of the Cold War. Current events might’ve made this movie more relevant than it otherwise would be–although it’s rarely riveting–and I prefer Cumberpatch in this mode (it’s his most straightforward performance of the year) instead of playing mannered oddballs (“Louis Wane”) or miscast as a roughneck cowboy. Here he can dial back the affections and accents, relaxing enough to inhabit the character seamlessly.

69. “Attica” B-…This movie is too long, but you have to admire the very thorough investigation of America’s most notable prison riot. It’s depressing how little things have changed for American inmates in the half-century since this took place.

68. “Everybody’s Talking About Jaime” B-…A movie that makes you miss the subtlety and restraint of Ryan Murphy’s “Prom.” Still, not every movie should be “Howard’s End,” and “Jaime” is–unlike too many 2021 movies–refreshingly unafraid to explore its themes. Jaime must do battle with school bullies, a deliberately-absentee father, and Sharon Horgan’s oppressively “helpful” teacher, who disguises her own prejudices as merely “concern” for the rights of the silent-majority of students. Also, Richard E. Grant is superb in the role of an aging drag queen who gives Jaime advice (and a moving tutorial on his past).

67. “The Voyeurs” B-…Speaking of movies that aren’t afraid to explore their themes, I practically gave a slow clap to this erotic thriller and rumination on the casual acceptance of voyeurism in our society. There’s nothing “tastefully restrained” (boring) about “Voyeurs” and thank God for it. It’s really a throwback to cheeky 80’s movies that weren’t afraid of outlandish plots, and sex scenes where women weren’t fully clothed. Even if I have to criticize it for–once again–a tragic portrayal of a black/white couple, most of it works better than you’d think.

66. “Those Who Wish Me Dead” B-…If only Taylor Sheridan hadn’t killed off the white cop married to the pregnant black woman in yet another example of Hollywood’s negative portrayals of black/white couples. Otherwise, this is a fairly-good, old-school thriller where realistic people (there are no superheroes here) do realistic things, including even letting the previously-mentioned pregnant woman kick a little ass. The scenery is beautiful, the wildfire doesn’t look fake, and it offers a chance to see actors who don’t usually play villains (Tyler Perry, Nicholas Hoult) getting in touch with their dark sides.

65. “The Water Man” B-…A pace that takes its time and then some. Still, there were worse family films released last year, and there are just enough flashes of creativity and fantasy (although I might’ve liked a few more).

64. “Tick Tick Boom” B-…A movie I wanted to like more than I did. The celebration of an artist who died before they could achieve real career success is a great, noble goal for any movie, but something in the execution of this overlong movie feels like it never really comes alive.

63. “The Tomorrow War” B-…J.K. Simmons gets the Goddamn job done, period. Also, the scenes between Yvonne Strahovski (as Chris Pratt’s grown daughter) and Pratt are surprisingly affecting for a movie that is–essentially–convoluted non-sense.

62. “Boss Baby 2: Family Business” B-…For me, this was a better movie than the original, which may not be saying much to most of you, but this includes good messages about sibling relationships, not being in such a hurry to grow up, and not prizing schools that treat kids like workers in a productivity factory.

61. “Locked Down” B-…I’ll admit that at least part of the reason I’m ranking this movie so high is because so many critics were overly harsh (Variety’s Peter DeBruge called it the worst movie of the year, apparently having not seen many of the actual worst movies of the year). Critics seem to take issue with the film’s portrayal of CoVid, but isn’t it kind-of weird that 99% of movies coming out just ignore it completely? It’s not easy to make a relevant film about CoVid and the strain it puts on relationships, while also making it fun and irrelevant (it gradually becomes a heist caper). Overall, I’m more likely to reward something new than something I’ve seen 10 times before. And you have to admit that Chiwetel Ejiofor and Anne Hathaway are at least an inspired pairing.

60. “Dog Gone Trouble” B-…A rich dog gets back to his roots when his beloved, loaded owner dies. There’s nothing particularly exciting for adults, but nothing too tiresome either.

59. “Back to the Outback” B-…Very similar to “Dog,” as a pampered “star” Koala has to help a bunch of ugly (scary) animals get back to the outback–whether he wants to or not. Nothing particularly memorable, but the Australian setting is a little bit unique.

58. “Horizon Line” B-…A tight, preposterous thriller about a pair of luckless passengers on a small chartered flight where the pilot has a fatal heart attack in midair. The scenarios keep getting wilder in a way that I welcomed, and the director knows how to get around some obvious budget constraints nicely.

57. “The Many Saints of Newark” B-…The world of “The Sopranos” is hard to capture in condensed movie form (there’s quite a few subplots here for a two-hour film), and yet “Saints” probably wouldn’t be very good as a standalone movie. Ultimately, what we come for–Michael Gandolfini’s excellent, simmering performance as a young Tony Soprano–isn’t what makes up the bulk of that two hour runtime, but it’s nice to see Ray Liotta back in fine form.

56. “Queenpins” B-…A great chance to watch a talented cast having fun. Few movies can claim to have a scene where Vince Vaughn and burgeoning-national-treasure Paul Walter Hauser have a stakeout to catch a counterfeit coupon ring and instead see Kirby Howell-Baptiste in an imaginary dance off.

55. “Land” B-…Robin Wright moves to rural Wyoming to live off the land after a tragedy has her wanting to make a serious life change. Wright is an actress who can sometimes come off as a little aloof, but it fits the character this time. The scenery is beautiful, the story slow, and Demian Bichir provides the warmth. A great movie to watch with some soup or stew on a Winter’s day when you don’t have anything going on.

54. “Silent Night” B-…An interesting moral quandary that acts as the opposite of wish-fulfillment. The nightmarish question is asked: “There is a poisonous gas cloud moving around the Earth killing everything. Do you take suicide pills so you can die with no pain or risk a possibly horrendous death? What if one of your kids doesn’t want to take the pill?” A dark comedy that is sporadically funny (like a couple of characters rushing to take their pills after an upsetting image), but it’s also very British, and there’s a lot less panic under those stiff upper lips as most characters just want to quietly perish. That can feel almost unrealistically anticlimactic. Why set up such a tension-saturated scenario if you aren’t really going to milk it?

53. “The Dry” B-…A pretty good detective thriller that makes great use of its sparse setting in rural Australia. Eric Bana also gives his best performance in quite a while. For some reason, he’s never been able to translate his native Aussie star power (explosive performances like in “Chopper”) to the States (where he often comes across as bland when forced into an American accent), and it’s probably a good decision to make more Australia-based movies from now on.

52. “The Ice Road” B-…Ice road truckers thriller version! Sure, the last act gets a little ridiculous, but you haven’t really lived until you’ve seen Liam Neeson driving like hell on an ice road for a life-and-death mission with a saboteur on board. This reminded me of a more-technologically advanced 1940’s movie (if only the saboteur were a Nazi), and I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way.

51. “South of Heaven” B-…Jason Sudeikis in a Southern crime thriller with Shea Whigham as the heavy? Abso-fucking-lutely, and the initial premise is beyond intriguing: Whigham’s corrupt parole officer forces Sudeikis’s parolee back into a life of crime. However, “Heaven” makes the bizarre decision to chuck this great setup after a fatal hit-and-run with a courier, morphing into a chase film with several unrelated characters. It’s nice to see a film willing to take chances (and “South” keeps surprising from there), but also a little unnecessary when we were so invested in the first half.

50. “Annette” B…Arguably the most polarizing movie of the year, and for good reason. All these months later, I’m still not sure if I loved this movie, hated it, or am lukewarm to it. Even if the experience of actually watching “Annette” can sometimes be nails-on-a-chalkboard irritating, there’s simply no way I can deny the boldness of the filmmaking. This is a modern opera involving a toxic comedian (MeToo allegations start him on a downward spiral before he kills his wife), characters in various stages of fame and infamy, and a “child” played by a wooden puppet that can sing like an angel. Some will turn this off after the first 15 minutes, and some will be thinking about it for months afterwards; I’m probably closer to the second category.

49. “The Escape” B…The documentary about the rescue of the young boys from the Thailand cave that (mercifully) leaves out Elon Musk’s deranged feud with the rescuers. Very thorough in the exploration of the mission and explaining exactly how difficult it truly was.

48. “Finding ‘Ohana” B…This movie is too long, but an adventure film set in the caves of Hawaii is something you don’t see everyday. Most kids (and adults) like stories of buried treasure, and this family film will–eventually–spark the imagination if the slow first half doesn’t have you tuning out first.

47. “Vivo” B…Sultry Havana streets, a lush jungle sequence, and Michael Rooker voicing one seriously-menacing snake are the highlights in this affecting story about a deceased musician’s song needing to make its way to his former bandmate (and crush). Music and art living after we do is clearly a theme that resonates with Lin Manuel-Miranda (who voices the main character and contributes songs here), and I might argue this is his best work of a very busy 2021 that included “In the Heights,” “Encanto,” and “Tick Tick Boom.”

46. “A Christmas Castle” B…You know exactly what this movie is, and anyone who chooses to watch it anyway will be delighted. It gives an audience exactly what they want. Plus, it’s refreshing to see a romance between two people over 50 who aren’t trying to disguise their age, and are still sexy as hell.

45. “A Boy Called Christmas” B…A nice Christmas fable that’s a little bit better than you’re expecting it to be, and one of the many kids movies hoping to raise a future generation that knows better than promoting fear-mongering leaders that really just like power (“My Little Pony: The Next Generation”). Speaking of…

44. “My Little Pony: The Next Generation” B…There’s nothing Alabama Liberal won’t do for his kids. I know nothing about the “My Little Pony” franchise, and so I can’t say if this will be faithful to longtime fans, but it’s a better-than-you-think warning against irrational fear, cultural clannishness, and dangerous leaders. Along with “Voyagers,” and “A Boy Called Christmas,” this is another nice introduction to the dangers of demagoguery.

43. “Yes Day” B…How do you keep your kids alive without becoming a total drag? That’s the relatable question at the center of “Day,” where Jennifer Garner attempts to regain her youthful spirit by not instinctively saying “no” to every dumbass, dangerous idea her kids have.

42. “The Matrix Resurrections” B…The first time I watched “Resurrections,” I found it an unsatisfying, convoluted mess built around an unusual amount of nostalgia (the first hour is almost entirely self-referential) for a once cutting-edge franchise. It was only on a second viewing that the film became more coherent and what works shines brighter: Jessica Henwick, the soft-oppression of a reality-defining therapist, “bots” masquerading as stock character citizens, Trinity’s domestic arc and chafing in her assigned role, and the original “Matrix” being repurposed as a video game as a metaphor for how our imaginations are being colonized into corporate product with the endless reboots, retreads, sequels, “expanded universes,” etc. Case in point…

41. Zach Snyder’s “Justice League” B…An unusual film to grade since this four-hour “League” is tainted by the lousy Joss Whedon “Justice League” that came out only a few years ago, but it’s not really that different in cliff-notes content. It feels a little bit like someone has told a joke very badly, and then a professional comic just can’t stand to see a joke they love shat upon, and decides to retell it to the same audience.

What Snyder does most differently is tone; he takes his vision of these beloved characters seriously, and the operatic grandeur and reverence he feels for his superhero sextet does make them feel like modern Gods. Gone is the jokey, wink-winky tone (a welcome reprieve from the MCU that Whedon brought with him) and it’s replaced with a sincerity and enthusiasm that can sometimes inspire awe. This is trending in the right direction, so that if in the unlikely event there’s ever a “six hour” version of this same material, it just might be a masterpiece.

40. “Seal Team” B…An animated movie about a war between seals and sharks. Many will think I’m nuts for ranking it this highly, but I loved the gorgeous animation, the spiky performances from the likes of J.K. Simmons, and the idea of an animated war movie is refreshing since the majority of recent family films insist there are no real villains, even going back to whitewash some classic ones (“Maleficent,” “Cruella”).

39. “Arlo the Alligator Boy” B…One of the strangest kids movies in recent memory, and that alone makes it worth watching.

38. “Palmer” B…Around the same time that Tom Holland was stinking up the screen in “Cherry,” Apple+ also released another gritty, rural American drama about drug addicts and/or ex-cons trying to return to society, and I’ll be damned if Justin Timberlake doesn’t look like Joaquin Phoenix in comparison. Timberlake shows a depth you didn’t think he was capable of, and maybe that’s because he’s actually Southern in a movie set in the Southeast vs. a British actor sounding like he’s got a cold for two hours. There’s something to be said for authenticity in filmmaking and giving an actor a role that fits them like a glove, as Timberlake proves here.

37. “No Man of God” B…Aside from Charles Manson, Ted Bundy might be the most over-exposed madman in American history, and so it’s a small miracle that “God” is able to make a story this familiar still feel creepily riveting. Elijah Wood is way too fresh-faced and wholesome in the role of Ted’s FBI handler–his dark side is not submerged, it’s non-existent in a way that makes it unlikely Ted would really open up to him–but Luke Kirby is sensational as Bundy. His Ted begins to take us down the rabbit hole of not only his own psyche, but a primordial world where morality doesn’t exist; his take is so mesmerizingly creepy that it’s probably the Bundy-standard from here on out.

36. “Jungle Cruise” B…I’m a sucker for this type of movie, and I would love to see jungle adventure films make a glorious comeback (or genuine adventure films of any kind). This is the kind-of movie I hoped “Encanto” would be before I realized it was an exploration of identity, and the “adventure” was moving from one room of a house to another. Sure, “Cruise” goes on a little too long, but it’s a little similar to “Ice Road” in that if you look past the tricked-up editing and CGI, it would essentially be a very old-fashioned movie Clark Gable might’ve starred in once upon a time–and I mean that in a good way.

35. “Concrete Cowboys” B…Takes its time (and then some), but this film about urban cowboys has a unique setting, and layered performances. And there’s something so unusual about seeing majestic horses inside cramped apartments and beaten-down streets that it makes the movie memorable.

34. “No Time to Die” B…Daniel Craig’s final outing as James Bond has a great first half (a chase through Istanbul, the introduction of Lashana Lynch in the only scene in the movie that has real sex appeal, and the section in Havana), but looses steam around the time Bond has his final encounter with Blofeld. Rami Malek’s villain isn’t even remotely intimidating–or interesting–and his motivations aren’t totally clear after he gets everything he wants at the midpoint of the movie. That’s a problem that lingers over the back half of “Die,” and I have to admit that Lea Seydoux is one of the least appealing Bond women that any 007 has been tangled up with, let alone bringing her back for a second movie. A final Bond adventure with a better villain, overall plot, and Ana De Armas or Lynch as Craig’s real love interest would’ve been better, but at least Craig’s final scene is appropriately heartbreaking.

33. “The Green Knight” B…I can’t lie to you and tell you that I truly understood every aspect of this movie, or even particularly enjoyed long stretches of it. But I’m a huge believer that it’s better to be confused by something unusual and passionate than see every plot point coming a mile away with something haphazard and generic. Writer-director David Lowery has created a mysterious atmosphere that often makes it feel like more is happening than truly is happening and some striking visuals (I don’t think I’ll ever forget those nude, otherworldly giants). It’s clear he loves the story he’s telling in a way that is almost contagious.

32. “Blue Miracle” B…Gorgeous scenery, a unique plot (not every family film is about needing to win a fishing contest in Mexico in order to save an orphanage), and not nearly as sappy as it could’ve been. Unlike a lot of family movies, this is one that really explores what it means to be “good,” and just how hard it can be to play by the rules (Dennis Quaid’s character suggests cheating at a time when it truly is the best option). The pacing may be too slow for some kids, but it’s a soulful cool-down movie in a world of candy-colored, hyper junk food. Speaking of…

31. “Paw Patrol: The Movie” B…Only the ultimate Scrooge could really fault a movie with such unabashed sincerity driving it. Young kids will love this thing–parents should be prepared to watch it more than once, even if they have reservations it might cause ADD due to its frenetic visuals. Still, I have to give credit to the screenwriters that snuck in subtle digs at Trump and electing incompetent, inexperienced, uncaring leaders who just want to make a “splash” since the villainous mayor definitely reminded me of someone. Any animated movie that puts a high value on civic duty and responsible, qualified leadership is better than most.

30. “Long Story Short” B…Arguably my most questionable pick yet, and many critics would’ve ranked it a lot lower. Sometimes, a movie just speaks to you or catches you in just the right mood. Other critics dissed it for being overly familiar, but this is actually a time-loop movie in reverse as we watch a non-committal man live years of his life too quickly (every few minutes he winds up teleported to his next anniversary with his real soulmate). Rafe Spall and Zahra Newman have believable chemistry in a way that many 2021 movie couples don’t–their scenes aren’t built on contrived “fireworks” of shouting and routing, but the quiet rhythm that develops when you’re in a real relationship. And this may be the most relevant-CoVid comedy yet without ever uttering “face mask,” “social distancing,” or mentioning the virus at all, and that’s because it really speaks to a situation where years of your life are flying by with nothing much good happening, and people pretending that’s not the case.

29. “Son of the South” B+…Not as good as “The Best of Enemies,” but this is another real-life story about a white Southerner’s gradual awakening to the unjust worldview he’s inherited. Sometimes you wish “South” were a little rougher-around-the-edges (it feels almost too wholesome), but there are certainly less-nuanced Civil Rights movies out there. Its strength is in showing Plato’s cave theory (you live in the cave, all you know is the cave) in action, with few people questioning just how strange a policy segregation actually was because it was what they’d always known. Few cultural traditions are actually worth protecting or carrying onwards into the next generations, a message that’s never been more needed in Hollywood movies.

28. “Profile” B+…I fully appreciate when a director is working with a bare-bones budget and how inventive they can make a limiting-gimmick (like “Searching,” this is a movie confined to what laptop cameras pickup). This film follows a British, female journalist pretending to be an Islamic convert so she can ensnare an ISIS-recruiter (Shazad Latif), a man calling himself “Bilel,” who turns out to be one of 2021’s greatest screen villains. Bilel is a sociopathic Peter Pan playing war games (and mind games), alternating between love sick puppy and gung-ho terrorist, and eventually revealing himself to be something even colder.

This might be one of the most realistic portrayals of an Islamic terrorist ever captured on screen (I would say “ISIS member,” but it could just as easily be the Taliban or Al-Qaeda or Al Shabab or Boko Haram or whatever the next group will be), as Bilel is the kind-of guy who can scold a woman for not wearing a hijab one minute, but in the next minute reveal he prefers European converts because they’re wilder in bed, and then abruptly lecture her on the proper ways a woman should be (i.e. virginity is a big priority). Everything is contained in that contradictory, psychosexual push/pull between “liberating” women from “unclean” Western civilization, while secretly covetous of what knowledge those freedoms might hold, but then becoming paranoid over that sexual freedom enough to want to destroy it. [Because how can she truly know what carnal knowledge he wants her to know if she’s actually a virgin?] By the end, sex trafficking has become the perfect metaphor for a group that thinks it’s their divine right to control other people.

27. “Birds of Paradise” B+…Diana Silvers is a young actress to watch. Here she displays the vulnerability (but also hunger) of a young Julia Roberts as she plays an American ballerina whose scholarship to an elite French dance academy is not the dream ticket it initially appears. She begins a complicated relationship with her roommate, who is equal parts competitor and best friend. A good movie about how difficult it is to truly make it at something you don’t have connections in, and how the voluntarily generosity of the rich only lasts as long as it’s convenient. Governments have to step in for funding, because the rich can only be counted on until the point where you actually compete with their kids for a job.

26. “Ride the Eagle” B+…A small, quick, affecting movie that sneaks up on you. It’s over so fast that it may be the next day (or week) before you realize that Jake Johnson’s main character has had few scenes where he’s actually in the same room as another person (Susan Sarandon’s mom character is dead and speaking to him via video eulogy, and D’Arcy Carden’s love interest is over the phone with him). A movie that can work this well emotionally without having most of its main characters share a single scene together is truly special. Beautiful scenery, a solid moment with J.K. Simmons, and a plot that is touching without ever being sappy are all things that make “Eagle” one of 2021’s best sleepers.

25. “Boss Level” B+…A movie made with such frenetic, dumb-assed glee and verve, it’s impossible not to have a big, stupid grin on your face while watching it. This is the movie “Jolt” should’ve been, and the rightful inheritor to the mantle of gonzo, try-everything action-thrillers like “Crank.” And all hail Frank Grillo for grounding the ridiculousness into something we actually cared about.

24. “Beanie Mania” B+…You would not think a documentary about beanie babies–and mostly centered on the middle-aged women who became super-collectors of them–would be something you’d watch if you got paid, let alone enjoyed watching for free. But this is a fast (yet in-depth) rip through the creation of beanie babies, the dubious nature of their mysterious creator, the craze surrounding the secondary market of beanie babies, and the inevitable crash where you could hardly give them away. That certain beanie babies which once fetched thousands of dollars are now selling for five bucks is a great cautionary tale for anyone who’s got “crypto-fever” or in love with any other thing that has no tangible value.

23. “Sing 2” B+…A big, thundering crowd pleaser in a year where it was sorely needed; possibly the most joyful, soaring film of 2021. It’s received an “A+” from audiences (through Cinemascore) because it’s nearly impossible to imagine kids leaving the theater not smiling. Several kids in the audience started singing during the songs, and absolutely no one told them to shut up. The kind-of movie–and theatrical experience–it’s hard to resist.

22. “Nobody” A-…A well-chosen soundtrack, well-staged action sequences, crisp direction, terrific pacing, and the credible birth of Bob Odenkirk as a thinking man’s action hero. What else do you need?

The Top Twenty

20. (tie) “Ron’s Gone Wrong” and “The Mitchells vs. the Machines”…Two terrific animated movies about the perils of prizing machines and technology over genuine human connection. “Mitchells” is more critically-praised (and has the warmer family dynamic), but “Ron” is my favorite by an inch because it’s slightly stranger, more inventive, and zeroes in more directly on the ways technology and “viral” culture are changing the basic way kids interact with each other, and even who they choose to befriend.

19. “Cruella”…To be honest, I expected to hate this movie, and am shocked that I didn’t. I’m still not sure we really needed Cruella DeVille’s backstory, but this is the best possible version we could’ve gotten with a heavy dose of British Invasion attitude, singular fashions that walk a knife’s edge between chic and revolting, and Emma Thompson and Emma Stone as great dueling partners. Stone in particular continues to explore a vein of cunning venality that served her well in “The Favourite.”

18. “The Tragedy of MacBeth”…I should hate this movie on sight for another needlessly negative portrayal of black/white couples (no problem with MacBeth being black, but why keep Lady MacBeth white?). But it’s hard to dislike a movie with such an excellent Denzel Washington performance, such an unsettling and imaginative reimagining of the three witches, and such immersive black-and-white cinematography (lots of movies used B&W this year, but none of them used it better). “MacBeth” is the closet thing I’ve seen in a long time to one of those great, classic Hollywood noirs–the doomed, amoral protagonist and his tragic femme fatale, the sense of dread hovering over every frame, the stripped down sets that feel a little “off” (like a nightmare), and the B&W coloring that not only looks cool, but mysterious. “MacBeth” has shadows within shadows, almost as if the scenery has a secret.

17. “CODA”…A family drama that takes a familiar setup (a teenage girl wants bigger opportunities away from home, but her family wants her to inherit a family business) and adds in the twist of her family being deaf. Is it selfish of her to leave the rare family that actually needs her? Or is it more selfish of them to ask her to essentially sacrifice her life so she can be their interpreter to people who don’t sign? Different viewers may have their loyalties, and it might even inspire debate in your own family. Just what do you really owe the people you’re family to? This is portrayed well in a scene where Ruby (Emilia Jones in a breakthrough performance) moves an audience to tears with her singing while her deaf parents look bored, signing to each other about what they might eat for dinner that night.

16. “The Burning”…A movie about the Australian wildfires that filled me with more emotions than almost any 2021 drama that was actually trying to pull my emotional levers. Alternately, you’ll feel horrified, disgusted, heartbroken, and furious as various Aussie politicians (including their fossil fuel-backed Prime Minister) dismiss or downplay climate crisis, even after wildfires destroyed 10s of millions of acres of Australian wilderness and countless wild animals. [The image of an on-fire Koala is not one you’ll likely forget–although please don’t let that turn you off watching this.] Australia’s habitat is being permanently ruined through wildfires, drought, and coral bleaching (the heating of the oceans is killing the Great Barrier reef), and it’d be nice if they at least had some political leadership that gave a damn–to say nothing of actually doing everything they could to fix the problem.

15. “Zola”…This is like one of those great 90’s Indies that felt like it could rocket off into any direction, and every scene has a spontaneity and energy to it that too-few (and too somber) smaller-budget movies do today. Taylour Paige and Riley Keough have an electric chemistry, and scenes blur laugh-out-loud comedy, menacing drama (you’re legitimately scared for Zola, who is constantly being threatened by her new “friend”‘s pimp when he feels he can’t coerce her with chump-change to have sex for money), and crime thriller effortlessly.

14. “Luca”…A charming, sweet, simple fable with no larger themes or weighty questions. It’s just about friends goofing off and bonding during a Summer in Italy, but they happen to be sea creatures (Mer-boys?). Pixar can still knock it out of the park with their more obviously-excellent, work-of-art films (“Soul,” “Inside Out”), but it’s been a while since they’ve really attempted (or succeeded at) a straightforward, world-building crowdpleaser (“Cars,” “Finding Nemo,” “Monsters Inc.”). “Luca” shows that the master chefs at Pixar can still serve up a delicious, satisfying plate of spaghetti-and-meatballs when they want to.

12. (tie) “House of Gucci” and “The Last Duel”…Ridley Scott directed two prestige dramas this year. “Gucci” might be dismissed as a little cornball (and maybe Jared Leto’s performance is), but it’s a solid exploration of what it takes to lose a fortune–as the Gucci family is eventually boxed out of their own family business as it rakes in billions. Probably every heir in the world will be forced to watch this on their 18th birthday. Oh, and Lady Gaga’s performance is probably the best by an actress this year. She looks like Ava Gardner with lively eyes as she sizes up everyone around her, going from quiet seductress to shrewd power-player.

And “The Last Duel” is completely underrated, the most empathetic action movie in forever that’s been mostly ignored during Award’s season and flopped at the box office. Yet the idea of a “Rashomon”-structure for a medieval battle picture is a good one, and Scott executes it well. People are right to single out the performances of Ben Affleck and Jodie Comer (as the wronged woman that serves as the final, overdue catalyst for the title bout), but Adam Driver and Matt Damon are doing subtle, easy-to-overlook variations on their characters as they become more loathsome as the perspectives shift. A good illustration on how the same events can look completely different to two people who were both there, and how hard it is to truly see another person’s perspective when we’re trapped in our own heads (or desires).

11. “Being the Ricardos”…Truly amazing performances from Javier Bardem and Nicole Kidman drive this movie about a tumultuous week filming “I Love Lucy.” Various stories about a “Red Scare” (Lucy attended a Communist meeting eons ago), Desi Arnaz’s infidelity, and Lucy’s pregnancy (the executives look horrified that she wants to be pregnant on camera instead of just hiding behind large plants or wearing coats for a few months) make this a tough week of production. Aaron Sorkin’s crackling dialogue makes even expository scenes fly-by with wonderfully old-fashioned zingers. [One thing you notice about old films is how literate the characters were, not content to merely speak technical-jargon or exposition, but make it witty.] Still, it might’ve been nice if Sorkin had found a way to tie Lucy and Desi’s potentially-career-ending week with modern themes like “Cancel Culture” (you know Sorkin wants to) or how strange it was that merely attending a Communist meeting could end a career once upon a time when criticizing China is more likely to end it today. Speaking of how the latter has undue influence on American media and worldwide narratives…

10. “In the Same Breath”…”Breath” is my pick for the best documentary of 2021 because it shows how the Chinese government let CoVid-19 spread around the world while keeping up a facade of normalcy to the rest of the planet, how they fought like hell to stop independent investigations of the virus and thwarted Science at every turn, how they manipulated data on not only the virus but also Chinese fatalities of the virus, and how they then spent more time launching a carefully-crafted propaganda campaign to blame the virus on “Western” spreaders than they did to find a real cure or contain it. [Footage of Chinese citizens who don’t want to admit their loved ones died from CoVid because it’ll make China look bad shows the full extent of the brainwashing.] By tackling CoVid misinformation (there’s also a section on Trump’s CV lies) and downplaying, “Breath” is a relevant documentary on just how little oppressive governments actually care about the reality for their citizens vs. the perception that their lives are amazing because they’re being “led” (oppressed) by the “right” people.

9. “Nightmare Alley”…1947’s “Nightmare Alley” is superior in a lot of ways (it may actually be more subtle since there’s not sickeningly-long shots of a monster baby in a jar, the Cate Blanchett character is a little less obvious and yet her motives are more clear, Bradley Cooper doesn’t totally have the dark power and commanding presence of Tyrone Power the way someone like Jake Gyllenhaal might’ve, and Coleen Gray was certainly better cast than Rooney Mara). But if you haven’t seen that original, you’ll probably love Guillermo Del Toro’s bruise-black noir–or maybe you won’t, since it is dark as midnight. The period feel has a predatory glamour that makes it feel dangerous, the supporting cast is a deep bench of top-talent, and the perfect final shot is one of the few times ugliness has felt exhilarating.

8. “The Harder They Fall”…Jonathan Majors is miscast as the Western-hero lead (and wasn’t the first choice, as CoVid delays changed some of the cast around). But that hardly matters when the supporting cast is this good: Lakeith Stanfield, Regina King, Zazie Beetz, and Idris Elba are all excellent (the first three playing heavily against type). Elba is one of the year’s most complex, memorable villains, especially as his motives become clearer the more he’s on-screen.

7. “King Richard”…Will this be when Will Smith finally wins his sought-after Oscar? It’s easily his best performance since “The Pursuit of Happiness,” and possibly better since this has a delightful weirdness at its core (Richard Williams is a lot more eccentric than what we usually see Smith play). Is Richard Williams a wily genius launching his daughters into the stratosphere or a pain-in-the-ass control freak holding them back or maybe both? The movie isn’t really a “warts and all” take since it only briefly mentions Williams’s other kids he didn’t champion, but it’s not totally a hagiography either. A solid, poignant nuts-and-bolts take on what it takes to create greatness.

6. “Herself”…A violently abused woman wants to start over, but still has to see her ex (they share two daughters) on a regular basis as she attempts to build a life without him–literally, since the movie eventually involves her building a home for her daughters. This is one of those under-the-radar indie dramas that too few critics remember at the end of the year (it opened very early into 2021 and may technically be a 2020 release), and thought I’d shine a light instead. “Game of Thrones” Conlith Hill is almost unrecognizable from Varys, playing a kindly contractor helping our up-against-it heroine build her modest dream home, and Clare Dunn is impossible not to root for. By the end, you’ll wish you could reach through the screen and help her rebuild.

5. “No Sudden Move”…Steven Soderbergh’s shifty, surprising, excellent 1950’s-Detroit set noir is better if you know almost nothing about it. That’s the way I went in–I went out of my way to avoid a trailer–and I’m glad I did. A “simple” crime caper gets deeper, more complicated, and even more politically-relevant as it keeps going. An aces cast is led by Don Cheadle and Benicio Del Toro, small time hoods who aren’t certain if they can trust each other or if they even want to as ripping each other off might be more fun. A crime thriller that finds its leads as the unwitting pawns in a conspiracy of corruption is an excellent throwback to Orson Welles, right down to the use of fishbowl lenses to convey a world where everything is a little crooked.

4. “Stillwater”…Ignore the whole “this is loosely based off of Amanda Knox angle.” That’s just a marketing gimmick and irrelevant to the story being told, which is really about Matt Damon’s red state roughneck undergoing an internal evolution while forced to be in France for an extended stay. Centering the movie around Damon irritated some critics, but that was absolutely the right decision as we’re treated to the story “Spotlight”‘s Tom McCarthy really wants to tell: the profound awakening of a “redneck” most movies would dismiss simply as the guy The Rock beats up in a bar fight. As ridiculous as it might sound, this could be the most “Woke” movie of the year as it follows Damon’s changing perspective from one wary, guarded, closed off, and (mostly) miserable man to something deeper, happier, more passionate, and more alive. His final lines (“it all looks different to me now”) are exactly right.

3. “Pig”…Similar to “No Sudden Move,” this is a movie that’s better if you don’t know much about it going in. At first, you think this is just another movie Nicolas Cage has made to pay off his tax debt or something, but by the end I honestly thought Cage should be nominated for Best Actor at the Oscars. He’s that revelatory.

The slow first act is only a set-up for something totally unexpected and shockingly moving. You think this will eventually turn into “John Wick, Oregon-version” but it strives to be something deeper and more transcendent at every turn. Cage’s lead doesn’t talk much (especially at first), but that’s only so he can defy your expectations by delivering speeches that see right through people; he’s not even addressing their ears, but their souls.

2. “Dune–Part 1”…If this wasn’t just “Part One” instead of a finished, four-hour movie (perhaps like Zack Snyder’s “Justice League”), it probably would’ve been my pick for number one movie of the year. As is, it’s only half-finished, and that’s almost okay because it gives us something to look forward to.

Denis Villeneuve made one of the best sequels of this century with “Blade Runner 2049,” and this film is almost as good: brilliantly staged, relentlessly atmospheric, and occasionally awe-inspiring. [This is definitely a movie you wanted to see in a movie theater. It’s not nearly as good without the theater experience to overwhelm and ambush your senses.] This is now the definitive version of Frank Herbert’s “Dune,” and I’m including Herbert’s source novel in that assessment; truthfully, this is the first time I’ve fully understood “Dune” and I do believe this is the best-crafted, most accessible, and truest distillation you could make.

Best Movie of 2021: “Don’t Look Up”…It’s a shame that many “Top Critics” didn’t get this movie at all. Reading their reviews it’s almost as if they’ve set out to prove writer/director Adam McKay’s point. McKay has made a movie about how inappropriately nonchalant, chillingly apathetic, and avariciously in denial humanity is on climate crisis (using the metaphor of an apocalyptic asteroid hurtling towards Earth), and the general consensus among reviewers was “Gee, couldn’t McKay have made his points more subtly, taken a more subdued tone, and turned down the volume on the alarmism?” What? This is practically what Jonah Hill’s nepotism-benefitting White House worker (and the President’s son) actually says to Leonardo DiCaprio’s correctly-panicked Scientist when he first hears the news. [“Up” is actually “rotten” on Rotten Tomatoes while several of the year’s worst movies like “Malignant” or “Prisoners of the Ghostland” are fresh, because there’s nothing RT critics love more than a relevant movie…]

“Up” is about a planet that is so selfishly divided, they might not actually come together to save themselves. McKay assembles a rogue’s gallery of characters (and top-tier actors) to showcase how opportunistic power players might actually treat the apocalypse: Cate Blanchett’s facile TV anchor; Michael Chiklis’s bullheaded cable news blowhard; Meryl Streep’s poll-numbers-beholden POTUS; Ariana Grande’s volatile, performative pop star; Mark Rylance’s “genius” tech guru (and yes, the quote marks are necessary); Himesh Patel’s disgusting, easily-distracted “journalist” (who’d rather cover sex scandals and/or create them than cover real news), and I literally laughed out loud at Chris Evans’s preposterous cameo as an actor who’s just “trying to bring people together” as he makes a lame, apolitical blockbuster about the asteroid striking Earth. Altogether, no one is “listening to the scientists” until Leonardo DiCaprio’s easily-cowed, marketable astronomer only tells people what they want to hear.

Any movie that can include all that, and successful jokes on everything from fingerling potatoes to a running gag on getting cheated by an Air Force General lying about free White House snacks is doing something very, very right. The pitch-black ending could either be a warning or a prediction, depending on exactly how many people take this movie seriously–and if most people are anything like professional film critics, I’m not optimistic. This was a movie that was green lit before CoVid, and doesn’t mention it one time. And yet, it’s the most relevant film in two years about what’s actually happening right now.