This is the only presidential debate on a weekend…ehhhh…
6:00 P.M.–A quick look at the audience makes it seem like the entire crowd could carpool home in an SUV. My God, where are the people?
6:02–Looks like NBC has gone with showing a football game—priorities are right, I guess—so I’m forced to watch this one on CBS. I already feel myself turning 65…
6:03–Martha Raddatz and Anderson Cooper introduce themselves. Well, we can probably be sure the moderating will be better than the VP debate at least…
6:04–Tonight’s audience is apparently made up of “independents” which at this point means “idiots.” How can people be independent at this point? I’m sure we’ll get some real “enlightened” questions tonight…
6:05–Yep, this first one is about “bad language” during the contest. Good Lord…
6:06–I can only imagine what we’re in for. “We know Trump’s stand on Taco trucks, but what about Hot Pockets?”
6:07–Trump is asked about bad behavior during the campaign, and is talking about the wasteful spending of Obamacare. Looks like another “enlightening” performance…
6:09–Anderson Cooper reminds him that the question is not about Obamacare, but appropriate behavior and the tape of what Trump keeps calling “locker room banter.”
6:10–Trump pivots to ISIS. Uhhh…sure?
6:11–Cooper isn’t letting it go, hilariously. Trump just keeps talking about security.
6:12–“Mr. Trump do you molest women and grab them without their permission?” “Let me tell you about ISIS.”
6:14–Hillary refuses to let up on Trump’s character, but that’s probably the smartest play. She is highlighting his behavior towards everyone including the disabled and veterans…
6:15–Does part of you feel like Trump isn’t really trying to win? Like he’s doing everything he can to lose? “Oh shit, I might actually have to be President? I’ve got to do something to stop this.”
6:17–Now Martha Raddatz is asking him about the tape. “Excuse me Mr. Trump, we’d like to bring in the janitor to let him ask you about this tape.”
6:18–Now Trump is talking about Bill Clinton raping a 12-year-old. This is a desperate man, right here…
6:19–It’s hard to watch a man drown and not help him. Quick, throw him a barbell…
6:20–Trump tried to pivot to Hillary’s Birtherism, and it’s all Hillary can do not to laugh out loud.
6:22–Now Trump is talking about hiring a special investigator to go after Hillary, and Hillary can’t resist laughing.
6:23–Hillary: “It’s a good thing somebody like you is not in charge of the law in this country.” Trump: “Because you’d be in jail.” The audience whoops and hollars like they’re at an old sitcom taping.
6:25–“Let me remind the audience that this will be the last time we bus you in from The Jerry Springer Show if you don’t behave.”
6:26–Trump is seizing on this email bullshit. His entire strategy tonight seems to be slinging mud. He’s a man in trouble, and he’d rather pull everyone around him down.
6:27–A question from the audience is a pack of lies about Obamacare. As I said, the “independents” are pretty much morons at this point.
6:28–Trump said “Go ahead Hillary, I’m a gentleman.” He clearly doesn’t want to go first on any question, because he’s got to think about what he’s going to say.
6:30–If the questions are this “good” the rest of the night. I’d rather see Hillary and Trump have a rap battle. Most of us are here to see them insult each other at this point, so why not let them just go at it?
6:32–Trump is unleashing a pack of lies about our healthcare system and Canada’s is supposedly worse which no objective ranking would say.
6:35–“Mr. Trump, why have you whipped your dick out onstage?” “Why hasn’t Hillary shown us her emails is the real question?”
6:36–I can’t wait to hear how Trump doesn’t have the sniffles. “I didn’t have the sniffles during the debate. Lying Hillary is so good at throwing her sniffles, she’s like a ventriloquist.”
6:39–Trump and Hillary are talking about Muslims. Ehhh…Honestly, neither are really right about this, so it’s a good time to zone out. [Zoooooonnnneeeeee] Ahhh, good mental rest.
6:41–Martha Raddatz is bringing up Trump’s Muslim ban. Good stuff. Trump’s running mate said something different than what Trump said a year ago, and both are different than what Trump is saying today.
6:43–Trump called Syrian refugees a Trojan horse. Hillary is asking for a 500% increase in Syrian refugees. Ehhhh…
6:44–These questions have substance, but of course they’re mostly coming from the moderators. The audience is probably thinking “but how do they feel about humus?”
6:45–All these people who have complained about Hillary not smiling enough will now criticize her as patronizing for smiling during Trump’s nonsense.
6:47–Martha is asking Hillary about her paid Wall Street speeches. Trump is happy to let this question go interrupted. The only time he’s quiet is when they’re attacking Hillary, the only time the moderators are “non-biased.”
6:48–Hillary pivots towards Russia being string-puller of this election. Just to be fair, this is not much better than Trump pivoting towards her personal life whenever something tough comes up for him.
6:49–Trump keeps “scoring” with the audience laughing at his jokes. I’m a little worried at this…
6:52–Trump: “I know nothing about Russia.” For once, we agree.
6:53–The question is “what will you do to make sure the wealthiest Americans pay their fair share of taxes?” Trump goes off on a bullwinder that basically says “Well, why didn’t Hillary make me pay taxes?”
6:55–“How will you make sure rich Americans pay their fair share of taxes?” Trump: “I will blame Hillary for not forcing me to pay taxes.”
6:56–Hillary is trying to get her economic populist on…and I’m not sure it’s entirely convincing. But Trump’s economic populism seems to be mostly blaming Hillary for allowing him to be a rich asshole.
6:59–Trump “why didn’t you raise taxes on the rich when you were a senator?” “Because I was a senator with a Republican President.”
7:00–Anderson Cooper has to keep reminding Trump not to interrupt Hillary. “She didn’t interrupt you, please let her finish.” I’m sure the Don-pologists will say Cooper was in the bag for Hillary.
7:04–I’ve heard pretty much everything they’re going to say before, and it’s really just about the insults at this point. I want to see the face-off. At the third debate, I want to see a full-on brawl.
7:05–Trump: “When Hillary drew a line in the sand…” Hillary: “I wasn’t there anymore. I hate to tell you that, but some facts need to come into it at some point.”
7:08–Martha Raddatz, with a slight sigh in her voice “Mr. Trump, let me remind you that the question is about what you would do about Syria.”
7:09–Trump about his runningmate: “He and I haven’t spoken, and we disagree.” “You disagree with your runningmate?”
7:10–Martha Raddatz seems exhausted with Trump. Hillary has not said a word in 5 minutes, and she’s killing it. You just have to let Trump hang himself with his own ignorance.
7:12–Hillary debate strategy “when Trump is asked a foreign policy question, just let him talk as long as possible.”
7:14–Trump is asked how he’s going to help all Americans, and Trump keeps referencing “innercities” and “black people” without really saying what he’ll do for them.
7:15–Trump’s plans to help Latinos: the deportation buses will have air conditioning.
7:17–Somewhere Gary Johnson is googling “Who is President of Russia?” “Why are people leaving Syria?” “What is an Anderson Cooper?”
7:20–I could handle these debates being a half-hour longer if we could get a few commercial breaks. I mean, how can I possibly tally all of Trump’s lies without a break?
7:22–Hard to believe this debate is almost over, and it feels like they’ve barely been asked a single substantive question.
7:26–Trump “I’m looking for a Justice in the mold of Scalia.” Stop (not) selling, you lost my vote a year ago.”
7:27–Trump is talking about fundraising, even though everything I’ve read is that Trump is way behind in fundraising.
7:28–Yet even though Hillary is beating him in every poll, I’ll get a text message from Hillary’s “Jess” saying Hillary is way behind in the fundraising game and needs my dollars more than ever.
7:29–Trump is trying to make the case for coal. That frightens me more than anything else, that we still have pro-coal candidates.
7:31–Hillary is talking about alternative energy and ending fossil fuels in a way that is tip-toeing around the plain truth: we have to get rid of fossil fuels, and we should expect no help from the oil and coal companies in doing it.
7:33–Last question: “What do you respect most about the other candidate?” Hillary talks about Trump’s kids.
7:34–She talks a little too long, and goes off on a side tangent. Trump merely says that he respects that Hillary doesn’t give up, that she’s a fighter, and she doesn’t quit.
7:36–I’ll give Trump this, his compliment towards Hillary was nicer than Trump’s compliment towards Hillary. Although, she has a lot more characteristics to compliment than Trump does…
Annnnnnd, that’s all folks
7:38–Here’s looking forward to the last debate in about 10 days.