Sadly, this movie is as bad as you’ve heard. Even though my hopes weren’t high going in, it was a heart-rending experience to have them dashed completely as I sat through one of the worst DC-Comics movies ever made. And I really, really don’t enjoy saying that.
What Works: Well, uhhh…ummm…well, there’s a pretty good sequence where Batman beats up a warehouse full of henchmen. It’s one of the few where the green-screen foolery is kept to a minimum and we can actually believe our eyes. I also enjoyed some of the imagery—even if Zack Synder is increasingly not a very good narrative builder, he has a great eye for stand-alone shots like Superman rescuing a family from a flood as they have his logo on their roof. And even though fans weren’t excited about Ben Affleck as “Batman,” he’s not bad.
What Doesn’t: [Note: This section was originally five paragraphs long, so I shortened it significantly.] The short version: this movie is an overstuffed, unsatisfying mess. It’s paradoxically too lightweight and too heavy.
The longer version: specifically, it feels like five different movies thrown together, and none of them are good. There’s a CGI-palooza where “Batman” and “Superman” might as well be Tom and Jerry when fighting each other since there’s barely a real shot in the action sequences. There’s Jesse Eisenberg showing up as Mark Zuckerberg pretending to be a poor man’s riddler as he does his best with Lex Luthor, who’s like a bad parody of an Adam West-Batman villain. There’s a shamelessly-world-building throwaway sequence where Wonder Woman looks at a flash drive with pictures of The Flash, Aquaman, and the rest of the upcoming “Justice League” movie. There’s Laurence Fishburne as Daily Planet editor in the movie’s “workplace comedy” scenes who says things nobody else in the movie even seems to hear. And the less said about Batman’s dream sequences the better.
And the biggest problem(s) are that there’s already been a terrific “Batman” franchise, but there’s never been one for “Superman.” Henry Caville’s charisma-less cypher just about guarantees it’ll be a while before we see one.
What I Would Have Done Differently: Zach Synder has made exactly one great film: “Watchmen” and a pretty good one with the “Dawn of the Dead” remake. However, it’s become clear that Warner Bros. primarily chooses him because they can tell him what to do, which is why this film feels like it was directed by a committee. Every hack studio executive with a lousy idea was able to influence this product, and it’s like Christopher Nolan said “Studio executives pay you to argue with them.” It’s become clear that Synder’s not putting up enough of a fight.
And for those of us who have grown to hate the flavorless and impersonal Marvel Comics assembly line, it’s too bad DC comics films seem to be heading down the same path.