Now that the media has decided the Democratic race has to be as exciting as the Republican race, we’re seeing some heat pick up on the Democratic “debates,” many of which have only been “forums” which is like the world’s worst cocktail party.
But now the Democratic debate is on a real network—NBC, the last forum was on something called the “Fusion Network” which I assume is a YouTube channel—and it looks like they’ve been promoted from the Jazz musical network to primetime. I’m sure Hillary’s real happy that this has turned into a horse race…
6:00–Let’s get ready to rummmmmmmmble….
6:01–Was that a dramatic montage of what? You half expect NBC to ask them to touch gloves. But at the end Sanders says “We can make history, one more time!” Yes, by electing the first woman president.
6:04–Hillary Clinton has to pretend she’s religous, yikes. Although it does smartly play up that Bernie’s religious background may not be entirely compatible with the ultra-religious South Carolina. So, it’s pandering, but smart pandering…
6:05–Bernie found a comb! This is the best his hair has ever looked, so you know he’s now taking himself seriously.
6:06–And now he’s going into his stump speech. Bernie, if Southern states haven’t cared about income inequality in 300 years, what’s going to make them start now?
6:07–Martin O’Malley, ladies and gentlemen…
6:07–Hey wait, don’t turn the channel! O’Malley speaks, America sleeps…
6:08–The first question: “In the first hundred days, my top priority will be…” Bernie goes into his stump speech. I like Bernie’s message, but you ever notice that it’s just one message?
6:09–“Bernie, what do you think about the Super Bowl?” “The minimum wage must be increased, we must stop income inequality, and the rich have to pay their fair share.” “Uhhh…that’s great.”
6:10–Hillary said…something. The crowd seemed to really respond to the increase in women’s wages though.
6:10–Martin O’Malley says roughly the same thing, but mentions climate crisis in a big way which is good. So far, he’s the first one to do so tonight. Then he mentions cities specifically, a backdoor admission of where he (hopes) his support will come from, cities say “no, thank you.”
6:11–Lester wants these two to go at each other, by asking about guns. Bernie calls Clinton “disingenious” on his gun record, bragging that the NRA gives him a D-
6:12–Bernie says he’s in a good position to bring gun lovers and gun control together because…he’s from Vermont. Whatever you say, Bern…
6:13–It looks like this debate is going to be guns, guns, and more guns. Is that the liberal version of “Syrian refugees” or “ISIS” or “Immigrants?”
6:14–It may be, looks like a good fear mongering tactic so far.
6:15–O’Malley gets a question. Looks like a good time for a bathroom break.
6:17–Lester Holt asks a real question: “Are black men’s lives cheap or is that just perception?” Hillary doesn’t dodge it, and lays some stats about racial disparities, and even asks “What would we be doing if this were white men?” Ballsy stuff
6:18–Bernie wants in on this one, but just can’t resist bringing it back to his one issue: lock up Wall Street.
6:19–Bernie goes into a speech about how polls don’t matter, and they can change, and that’s true, but Hillary wins in the purple states that actually matter: Missouri, Ohio, Virginia.
6:21–O’Malley answers questions about police brutality in Baltimore, and handles it pretty well actually.
6:22–Oh my God, YouTube vidoes, really? I remember when Parks and Recreation had the great line “And now we’re taking some debate questions from YouTube, because apparently that’s something we do now.”
6:23–A question to Hillary about America’s upsurging heroin epidemic, but he leaves out the number one state going through this: Vermont.
6:24–Remember when they banned the stuff to make crystal meth, and thought “that will solve the drug problem.” [Pat on the back.] But that just led to foreign-made crystal meth, and now, apparently, heroin.
6:26–Larry David will have a good time doing a take on Bernie this week on SNL.
6:26–First commercial break. Let’s see if Democratic debate ads are better than the ones they had on Faux Business this last Thursday.
6:27–Funny fact: Faux Business debate ads were for a bunch of companies actively making America worse like oil companies, coal companies, Michael Bay movies, snake oil medications, and fear salesmen trying to sell gold coins to nutters who think the dollar’s about to collapse.
6:28–People over 60 buy gold coins, people under 40 buy BitCoins. Both are betting big on America’s financial collapse…discuss…
6:29–These ads are different since we just an ad for clean energy rather than ad for imaginary Fossil Fuel Discrimination and Oil Apologists.
6:31–A question to Hillary about Healthcare, and she mentions the fight she took on as First Lady, and this did almost make Bill a one-term candidate. The Clintons don’t get enough credit for trying healthcare back then.
6:32–“I don’t want to start over again with a contentious debate, I want to work on and improve Obamacare.” Agree
6:33–Yes, Bernie “Medicare for All” would be preferable, but how do you get Republicans to pass that bill? Radio silence…
6:34–Hillary defends Obamacare, and gets applause. Good, we’ve been waiting for Democrats to defend this thing instead of acting like it’s an orphan at a bus stop they don’t want to give money to.
6:35–Bernie never talks about how he’s actually going to get costs down: you would have to put in price controls and pay caps, and we should but even he won’t come out and say that’s what has to be done, so I don’t look optimistically at anyone seriously considering this.
6:37–They’re asking an important question about why Vermont abandoned Bernie’s proposals for healthcare. He can’t even get his proposals past in his own state, but he doesn’t really answer this.
6:39–Hillary brings up a great point: even when they had a Democratic majority in congress they couldn’t get a public option.
6:40–Hillary is a policy wonk while Bernie is a big-picture dreamer, but, I’m sorry liberals, we need Hillary. She has a much better chance at actually getting things done, even aside from getting elected.
6:42–Bernie goes back into his stump speech.
6:43–Lester asks a real question about how Bernie can run as a Democrat when he’s been an independent in congress. He pivots, of course…
6:44–Bernie needs a better answer for this question.
6:45–Bernie is getting horse speaking so much, yelling so much, and waving his hands around. I’m gettng exhausted just watching him.
6:46–My God, another YouTube video. Really? A question from a 23 year old dipshit at a national news debate? I know the debate is “co-sponsored” by YouTube and streaming there, so why don’t TV networks just commit suicide rather than basically saying “I don’t even know why people would watch us for debate coverage?”
6:48–“Why is Senator Sanders beating you two-to-1 among young voters?”–Lester Holt. Good Lord, he did the same thing asking Bernie about black voters not going for him. So you want candidates to tell you about why their poll numbers are bad? If they knew that, Martin O’Malley wouldn’t be standing there.
6:52–We’re back from another commercial break. The riveting ad question: Will we get a Starbucks ad? And will it be a reveal of a new campaign to have your barista talk about transgendered rights, or perhaps the guy sweeping up the bathrooms?
6:53–All the effort Bernie put into his hair tonight meant that he didn’t have time to get the yellow off of his teeth.
6:54–Hillary defends Obama’s record. Good, it’s about time a Democrat didn’t act like Obama was spelled E-b-o-l-a. It’s good to see the party act like he’s not a leper again.
6:55–O’Malley is eager to get a question, and is jumping at the podium like he’s got to pee. There’s plenty of medications advertised in the commercials that can help him with that.
6:56–The most interesting takeaway from this debate: Hillary isn’t trying to distance herself from Obama at all, despite all the articles saying she has in the past.
6:57–O’Malley and Sanders: Put Wall Street forceably in Barnum and Bailey Circus and make them dance for peanuts. Okay, not really, but it’s pretty clear there’s no love lost between them and financial speculators.
6:58–Hillary mentions that O’Malley has taken money from Wall Street before, and O’Malley uses it as an appeal to go to his website and donate. Cyber-begging at the debate, O’Malley this is who you are.
6:59–Bernie slams Wall Street contributions and their influence in congress. And he’s right…
7:00–But it makes you wonder how a Democratic candidate that is unpopular with Big Oil, Big Defense, Big Pharma, Big Insurance, and Wall Street could have a prayer of being elected.
7:01–They’re asking Bernie about all his proposals: free college, free education, federal minimum wage increase, expand social security benefits, Medicare for All, rebuild infrastructure, etc. and how in the hell he can pay for them.
7:02–I’m curious about this one too, and he ducks it mostly. He says he’d get rid of a corporate tax loophole for the Cayman Islands which wouldn’t be anywhere near what we need.
7:03–Hillary differentiates herself by saying middle class taxes wouldn’t go up under her, which they would have to under Bernie. They would have to.
7:04–And maybe middle-class taxes should go up, but he won’t own it…at all.
7:06–O’Malley says he balanced a budget as governor of Maryland, Bernie says he did it as a mayor…of what, some Vermont backwater?
7:07–O’Malley says upper-class taxes must go up and capital gains taxes should too, and all of that is true, but they can’t pay for the proposals they’re suggesting. Middle-class taxes would have to go up, and maybe they should for the type of country we want, but O’Malley and Sanders won’t own it.
7:08–A YouTube video actually worth watching: an animated video on Climate Crisis. Looks like it’s going to get good…
7:09–Bernie calls out the Republicans for not admitting Climate Crisis is real. Mentions that their nominee likely won’t even believe it’s happening, and is so owned by the fossil fuel industry you can forget about them taking real action over it.
7:12–Boring ads, even Viking River cruises doesn’t look fun.
7:13–Chuck Todd giving us the halftime update. Looks like this is “Use the Bathroom America” time.
7:17–The first question back is about Iran. Bernie and Hillary seem to agree that the agreement is a good thing, and we should normalize relations with them.
7:19–Bill Clinton’s administration had relatively good relations with Iran, certainly better than either Bush.
7:20–Now we move on to Syria…”I guess I care”–America
7:22–No real difference between them on Syria. Good, keep our ass at home for once. Oh, and most Republicans won’t say they want to send the army to Syria either.
7:22–O’Malley brings the candidates together by saying none of them are using the “macho” Republican term boots on the ground, saying it’s good that none of them want to thoughtlessly send troops to the Middle-East.
7:24–Bernie “the Middle East has to put some skin the game” with their own troops doing the fighting. Sounds good, until you realize that defectors or disbanded men from their own armies make up the terrorist groups in the first place.
7:25–Hillary giving a good, in-depth answer to Iraq. Calling out the former Prime Minister of Iraq who started the sectarian violence in the first place. She hits on Assad, Iran, and the whole complicated mess. Knows her stuff, and you won’t see this on the Republican debate stage.
7:27–Bernie spreads the lie that Iran/Russia have any interest in getting rid of ISIS. They need them to scare people away from the legit Sunni insurgence and into Assad’s arms.
7:29–The moderators seem to be saying “Shut up O’Malley, nobody cares.” Although he’s answering most of the questions well.
7:31–But nobody can do foreign policy like Hillary, and nobody can really know as much about domestic policy either given her time as First Lady and the senate. I know she’s a boring policy wonk, but it’s exactly what America needs, like it or not.
7:32–Another Goddamn YouTube video right after an actually informative foreign policy discussion. All the YouTube questions have been exactly what you think they’d ask: “How can you protect my internet privacy?” Or “Young people are needed to vote for you, what will you do for them?”
7:33–You’re just never going to get a YouTube question like “How could the capital gains taxes be increased around a Republican congress so we can get more healthcare coverage?” If you got a complicated, nuanced question on foreign policy, it’d be a miracle.
7:34–More commercials.
7:36–For all the conservatives saying “Well, NBC hosting the Democratic debate shows their bias” might want to consider that they’d probably love to host a Republican debate, but most of the candidates won’t show up on any network that’s not Faux News.
7:38–O’Malley scores a jab at Holt for not giving him time to speak. Crowd likes it, and unlike Jim Webb’s whining in the first debate, he might actually have a point. Of course, O’Malley seems to be the only one who doesn’t know he’s got a chance in hell.
7:39–O’Malley is practically begging for time to speak. “Andera, please, my 30 seconds, please…”
7:40–The Democrats really are too polite for their own good sometimes. The Republicans would just start shouting for time, and take it.
7:41–Bernie “I agree with what Secretary Clinton said” and Hillary smiles. It’s not every day somebody says that.
7:42–Bernie seems to have tired himself out at the beginning of the debate. Maybe he could take some of the pills they’re advertising at every damn commercial break.
7:43–The obligatory “How would you use Bill?” question to Hillary. They must not realize that the Clintons are pretty much a team, and she played just as active a role in his administration years ago.
7:44–Now there’s a question to Bernie about Bill’s sex life. BUT the question has a twist: it’s about his previous comments calling Bill’s sex life disgraceful and whether he regrets it.
7:45–Bernie says Bill’s actions were deplorable, and immediately says he’s never said a word about Bill’s actions. Huh? He seems to be patting himself on the back for taking the highroad, even as he’s calling Bill a shit heel.
7:46–Another commercial break. “Yay!”–nobody, ever.
7:50–Lester’s final question is whether they didn’t get a chance to talk about something they really wanted to talk about, and directs it to Martin O’Malley. Big laughter, and an “awww shucks” smile from O’Malley like he’s “Rudy” getting to play for the first time.
7:51–O’Malley talks about several things.
7:51–Hillary talks about Flint, Michigan and the deplorable water conditions.
7:52–Bernie says “she right, and I also called for the governor’s resignation.” Seems like a real last word kind-of guy.
7:53–Talks about citizen’s united, government for sale, getting wealth out of politics, etc. I thought this question was about something they hadn’t talked about during the main debate.
7:54–Lester says goodbye and says “I’m turning it over to my friend Chuck now.” Which is code for “it’s okay to turn the channel now America.”
7:55–And so we will!
End Note: This was definitely more contentious than the first two Democratic debates. That’s right, there have only been two before this, but about a half dozen “forums” which were primarily designed to satisfy no one.
Only time will tell whether this had any impact on “As the Election Turns.” Join us next time…