[Fart noise]
Sorry, but I’m just not drinking the Kool-Aid on this one.
What Works: Chris Pratt does what he can. And raptors are always a welcome sight. Plus, even though a new genetically engineered dinosaur is the main attraction, I really preferred a giant aquatic dinosaur that is even more lethal than Black Fish.
What Doesn’t: All the talk of Jessica Chastain not being in the film instead of Bryce Dallas Howard (because they get mistaken for each other a lot) reminds you that Jessica is a lot better actress than Bryce, and probably would have been a better choice.
But the film’s real problem is the general ho-hum, “hey, it’s good enough” vibe that makes sure it never even strives too hard for greatness. The special effects also look cheaper than the original Jurassic Park, and there’s not one sequence in this film that inspires the terror, wonder, or suspense of the original.
What I Would Have Done Differently: Even in the derided Jurassic Park 2 and 3 installments there were standalone set pieces that felt amazing. [Part 2 had that great dangling bus sequence and the T-Rex loose in San Diego, while part 3 had the terrific rope bridge attacked by flying dinosaurs scene.] But I’m having a hard time really coming up with a scene that didn’t just feel like a rehash, even with a genetically engineered killing machine that the film could have used to much greater effect.