Floyd Mayweather won another fight in a decision against a handpicked opponent most people have never heard of, and now the big question turns to who he’ll fight next. My guess? His toughest opponent yet: a new form of Gonorrhea.
Wheel of Fortune recently denied a man a chance at a million dollars because he mispronounced a word, even though the word he mispronounced had already been solved. [The phrase “Corner Curio Cabinet” already had everything but the B in cabinet, and he mispronounced Curio.] I wonder if he can pronounce “Fuck-ed O-ver” correctly.
The co-founder of Beanie Babies will have to pay a huge sum to the IRS because he’s avoided paying taxes. I, for one, am shocked: the Beanie Baby company still exists?
Because of the oil boom Alaska currently enjoys—–one where the Alaskan people actually see some benefit from it—–the state is going to pay a dividend of $900 to residents. This pairs perfectly with the state motto “Alaska, We’ll Pay You to Live Here and Most of You Still Wouldn’t Consider It.”
Asshole of the Week: Jaden Smith, who encouraged people to drop out of school, and said education is unimportant. And I’m sure it is unimportant…if your dad is the most successful black actor of all time, and keeps insisting that you be in his movies in an effort to turn you into a star as well. However, for those of us who aren’t the children of perhaps the biggest movie star on the planet, education may still be necessary if we don’t want to wind up on skid-row. The fact that Jaden doesn’t seem to get that his situation (famous mom, famous dad, famous sister, dating a Kardashian, friends with Bieber) isn’t the same as 99.99999999999999–oh shit, pretty much everyone else on the planet seems so delusional it’s borderline idiotic.