There are really two schools of critics when it comes to current-day Woody Allen. There are those who are just thankful the legend is still alive and still making roughly a movie a year (not unlike an auteur version of James Patterson). And there are those that think this approach has really, really caused the legend to suffer, just cranking out subpar stuff just to have a film out every year (not unlike an auteur version of James Patterson), and that if he only focused on making a very good film every few years (like Match Point) it’d be better for him and audiences. I’m in the second group.
What Works: This film involves four stories. 1. A case of mistaken identity has a prostitute (Penelope Cruz) pretend to be a man’s new wife, while the actual new wife gets wooed by a movie star. 2. Life is Beautiful’s long-forgotten star Roberto Benigni as a regular schlub who gets chosen as a new reality star. 3. Woody Allen himself as a man meeting his daughter’s new husband and discovering the son’s father can sing perfect Opera in the shower. 4. And Alec Baldwin as an older man looking back on his younger self’s (Jesse Eisenberg) fling with a flighty actress (Ellen Page). The Roberto as everyman super-star sketch and the Baldwin/Eisenberg scenes are the two most successful skits…
What Doesn’t Work: Although Penelope Cruz is smoldering hot, her entire storyline is extremely weak and revolves around a case of mistaken identity most sitcoms would find outlandish. And Allen’s storyline has one great nice punchline—-the guy signing opera on stage in a shower—-that requires too much unfunny set-up and then goes on too long. Plus, the skits (that really is the most accurate term for them, they’re too thin to be story lines) have absolutely no connection to each other, the characters never overlap and there isn’t even a unifying theme to them except possibly that having affairs are great. All in all, this just feels like an excuse for Woody to jerk himself off in Rome for a few months making yet another disposable Euro adventure that’s much less satisfying than Midnight in Paris or Vicky Christina Barcelona or Match Point but about on par with Scoop.
What I Would Have Done Differently: None of these skits are really enough to sustain an entire movie, so I can’t say he should have stuck with one and gone from there, but he could have added about three or four more story lines, shortened each one and had each as a stand-alone 15 minute segment. That would have really helped cut down the indulgent pacing and restlessness I felt watching this movie (which could easily be 15/20 minutes shorter). But ultimately, it’s time for Woody to leave Europe. I know, I know, he’s just in love with the…culture of it all, and maybe he’s had to go there to feel the New York he loved in the 70’s since that New York no longer exists, but it’s run its course. He needs a new location (may I suggest Africa?) or, better yet, a new game plan.