And finally completing the site’s series on “Everything [insert section here] has taught me” comes the final one for the final day of the week: Sunday’s Sermons. I have to admit that writing things in a top five style list has been tantalizingly easy this past week and I’m tempted to keep doing it, but, no, I will move on to other things to keep talking about, and later today will have up a Sermon against Rick Santorum, so what else could you ask for?
5. The Official Subtitle of This Section Says it All. The actual subtitle of Sunday’s Sermons—-and one that I don’t use for length purposes—-is “Sunday’s Sermons: Talking About People in the South’s Favorite Thing to Bring Up (Religion) and Their Least Favorite Thing to Bring Up (Race).” I find that even though people wear their religion on their sleeve and literally can’t stop talking about it, most people wouldn’t tell “mixed company” what they honestly think about race without a gun to their head. I guess they’ve just been burned too many times by being 40 years behind the rest of the country in race relations and would rather work quietly to kick Mexicans out of the state and limit black people’s freedoms than vocally go on the offensive. [And that’s so much worse because it’s so much more effective.]
4. As Long as There is a Southeast, Politicians Will Use Race Divisions to Get Ahead. This hasn’t always been a Republican thing—-a million years ago, it was the Democrats who were fighting the end of slavery—-and even in the last fifty years, there have been “Dixiecrats” who fought against integration the same way real Democrats fight for it, but no matter what party is in control of Alabama the unifying theme has been: blame the minority. Whether it’s George Wallace using segregation to launch a presidential campaign or Alabama’s new, Tea Party-led legislature going after Mexicans, race seems to be the one thing that can unite the majority of white voters around the most despicable of politicians.
3. As Long As There is a Southeast, Politicians Will Use Religion to Get Ahead. Even more than race, Alabama politicians play the religious card until it is worn to shreds. I cannot imagine a politician ever being elected anywhere in the state on the platform that the government needs less religion in it (even if they were running for mayor of Birmingham). If you took a drink every time the new Governor of Alabama, Robert Bentley, referred to himself as a Christian, you’d be a permanent drunk.
2. If Someone Repeatedly Tells You They Are a Christian, They Are Probably Crooks. I know that 99 percent of Alabamians would classify themselves as Christians, so I’m not necessarily talking about them. What I mean is that when I meet someone and they tell me about five times in ten minutes how Christian they are, I know they are crooks. I know that if I shake their hand, I better count my fingers after I do. People that are really that religious don’t have to bring it up all the time, and anyone who feels compelled to is probably overcompensating for something or has to work extra hard to get you to trust them. [I would imagine the same is true for Muslims in the Middle East.]
1. It’s True, People Hate Obama Because He’s Black. I know, I know, I know, people don’t “hate” Obama because he’s black. They hate him because of “Obamacare” a health insurance bill that has not even fully gone into effective and will be tied up in the court system for a decade BUT did give millions of Americans like myself overnight health insurance. “Obamacare” is just one more smokescreen on top of the dozens that have already been laid out. “We don’t hate him because he’s black, we hate him because he’s Muslim,” No he isn’t, but how would that be better exactly? “We hate him because he’s letting gays get married and serve in the military?” Again, you’re not intolerant towards black people just another group? “Obama’s weak on defense.” The guy who got Bin Laden, dismantled Al-Qaeda, oversaw the fall of Gaddafi, and didn’t cut the military budget at all is weak on defense? The only way you could argue this is that we left Iraq but everyone wanted that.
No matter what bull excuse people have (Obama wasn’t born here, his wife wants our kids to eat vegetables, he bailed out the banks…like Bush also did) it just really doesn’t hold up to close scrutiny or it overlaps with some intolerance towards gays/Muslims/Kenyans/whoever that is no better than flat-out racism.