I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice. At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until
he stuck his index finger up my butt. Do you think I should change dentists?
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated,
but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You’re obviously not listening.”
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I
have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.
A buddy of mine has just told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her
twin. I said, “How can you tell them apart?” He said, “Her brother’s got a mustache.”
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the
lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.” To which she replied,”No, it’s regular people-porn,—- you sick bastard.”
Funny!