Today I go for a record number of reviews on the site as I attempt to review all 17 of the broadcast TV (that’s Fox, ABC, CBS, for about another two years NBC, and the why-the-hell-not CW) pilots that have aired so far. I have seen EVERY pilot that has aired so far (appreciate my pain watching Hater and Charlie’s Angels for you, beloved reader) and promise to watch all the ones that haven’t aired yet as well (come back later tonight as I update this list for Hart of Dixie and Terra Nova).
Listed in the order I saw them…
1. Ringer: This show isn’t working yet. Unlike most of the shows on this list, I’ve seen the second episode of this one and it just isn’t very good. People made such a big deal about Sarah Michelle Gellar’s return to TV that they never stopped to ask “Is she really a good actress or did she just get lucky with one great, well-written role?” I already knew the answer was the latter, but it will take other TV critics a season to come to that conclusion. Grade so far: C-
2. Up All Night: This show is one of the very few keepers of the Fall season and I’m not entirely sure why. The premise isn’t that original and I’m not the world’s biggest fan of Maya Rudolph or Christina Applegate, so I had no bias to love this show going into it. And I still don’t really love it, but I do think it’s one of the most promising shows I’ve seen so far. Grade so far: B+
3. Free Agents: This show sucks. Grade so far: D+ [My review might be longer than this show’s life span.]
4. Hater (I refuse to call this show its real, obnoxious title H8r): This show is straight terrible for three reasons. 1. It’s an idea (that a “celebrity” has to win over one of their haters) that belongs on the E! network, not broadcast. 2. The vast majority of the “celebrities” on this show are reality TV stars…So how can you say that someone doesn’t know the “real” them when they’re playing themselves on TV? 3. The celebrities cast on this show are so awful (like Kourtney Kardashian’s nasty husband) it turns me into a hater, thus defeating the purpose. Grade Forever: F…+
5. A Secret Circle: Suffers from all the same CW problems: Their cast is made up of Abercrombie and Fitch models instead of actors, their dialogue is made for the mute button, and their plots feel telegraphed from a mile away. The pilot had one pretty nifty sequence (making all the raindrops in a forest reverse when the central couple kisses) but otherwise there’s too much bullshit and not enough inventiveness. Grade so far: C-
6. Two Broke Girls: I’ve only seen the first episode of this show (from this point on only the first episodes are being judged but you would be surprised how strong of an indicator that is), and was a little mixed on it. I enjoyed Kat Dennings as a feisty waitress but I HATE that this show employs a laugh track instead of being a single camera comedy (does CBS allow comedies that don’t tell you when to laugh?). It feels like a step backwards to allow this type of show on the air (most of the laughs are a little stale too) but maybe it will grow. Grade so far: C+
7. The Playboy Club: I have to tread carefully as some other people I know really like this show but I can’t say it works for me. Grade so far (with the hope it gets better before it gets cancelled): C
8. New Girl: I liked this show as I was watching it but forgot I had even seen it about five minutes after it was over. So I can’t say it’s THE strongest show out there and it probably never will be. Grade so far: C+
9. Unforgettable: Get ready for this pun–you ready for this–FORGETTABLE! Oh man I’m clever. Still, this is a decent enough hour and Poppy Montgomery is a pretty good lead. So I have to go with a middle of the road…C
10. Revenge: It’s really hard to say about this show. I feel I really need to see more episodes, but–for now–I have to give it a…Grade so far: B-
11. The X-Factor: It’s a love-it or hate-it type show and I chose…Hate it. I haven’t really gotten into a reality talent show since the very first season of American Idol, which is about the last time this type of show felt fresh. Since then I’ve come to consider it everything that’s wrong with the all-flash, no-substance music business (would a band like Radiohead or a guy like Bruce Springsteen or Eminem EVER win a competition like this?). Grade so far and forever: D-
12. Whitney: This show is a straight dud. I can say that I’m being unfair as I’ve only seen the first episode but this show isn’t getting any better and I think we all know it. In fact, I actively hate this show because it represents a major step backward (it’s got, you guessed it, a “live studio audience” that tells us when to laugh) for NBC, whose comedies are the best on broadcast television. Grade so far: D-
13. Charlie’s Angels: Terrible. Sucks. Awful. Really sucks. Pick your derogatory statement and that sums it up for me. If I have to watch one more show where 90 pound models pretend to be crime fighters capable of taking down four beefy guys at a time, I’m going to puke. [WHERE is the show with an actual, heavy set female police detective who is muscular?] Grade so far and forever: an F, for Fuck this show
14. Person of Interest: Intriguing setup but I’m afraid CBS will turn it into a procedural drag with no consequences. Still, I’m more excited about this than any “crime solving” show in recent memory so I’ll see where it goes. Grade so far: B+
15. Prime Suspect: This show SHOULD be better than it is. However, thanks to the lackluster ratings it may never get there. I’m intrigued to see where it goes (and I like that it contained an actually realistic fight between Maria Bello and a larger male perp) but for now…Grade so far: C+
16. A Gifted Man: This show SHOULD be worse than it is. There is absolutely no reason this show should work but, so far, it does alright for itself. I don’t want to get too carried away because it could turn real bad, real quick but for now I’m enjoying it. Still, actress Jennifer Ehle–as the title character’s ex-wife who comes to him as a ghost–is the weak link in this otherwise terrific cast that features my lady, Justified’s Margo Martindale. Grade so far: B-
17. Pan Am: Way too early to call this one. It’s pilot is scattershot and a bit all over the place, and I definitely think this overly nostalgic hour (each shot looks like it was filmed at Disney World, it practically glows with CGI-ed wholesomeness) is a step backwards in terms of how the 60’s are presented compared to the darker, more realistic Mad Men. Plus, I’m not sure you don’t get the general idea of “Glamorous stewardesses” in a single episode, and a series might feel repetitive. Still, I need to see where it goes before really weighing in…Grade so far: C
18. Hart of Dixie: Another depiction of an Alabama that doesn’t really exist. The actual Alabama is filled with people a little less corn pone, and ten times more ruthless (DO lock your doors, DO NOT hitchhike). People that live in Alabama and enjoy living there will probably eat up this show as it’s actually a fairly positive depiction, but I can’t say I was won over by this unrealistic hour (Dr. Hart has to originally come to Alabama because she lacked “bedside manner” as told to her by her supervising doctor, which is straight bullshit for an NY Dr. to be concerned about). Still, Rachel Bilson is really winning in this role, she almost singlehandedly charms you. Grade so far: C
19. Terra Nova: A winner. I don’t like every aspect of this like Jason O’Mara as the lead (he’s the 4000th British, Irish, or Australian actor to be cast as an American yet contain a curious lack of star power, specificity, or accurate accent making you wonder why they cast him) or the clunky family dynamic between estranged father and son (the worst thing this show could do is become a family drama instead of sticking to its complex sci-fi premise). Still, this show more than makes up for it in ambition and storytelling snap. Plus, the always compelling Stephen Lang keeps the acting afloat for now. Bonus points for being the ONLY new TV show to feature an interracial couple at its center (and since they’re long married with three kids we can assume they won’t do the typical TV thing of splitting them up). Grade so far: A-
I have to agree with you on most of the shows, only because I don’t have your commitment and I’ve only watched a handful. I was looking forward to Whitney but really disappointed at the pilot. I ended up loving Up All Night and Prime Suspect. I still have 4 of the shows still on DVR and based on your review I will not delete 3 episodes of the Ringer.
Keep up the good work, suffering for your art is always rewarded.
Sincerely,
Your Reader
great review. you are offically my fall guide.