Note: Yep, we had to have at least one blonde joke… Three women all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they watched the boss leave work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or…
Tag: Mom Jokes
Mom Jokes: A Riddle…Can You Figure Out the Answer?
King Arthur AND What Do Women Want? Can you figure out the answer…[Note: This joke is more of a very short story or riddle but still has a punchline.] Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth…
Mom Jokes: Top Things You’ll Never Hear a Southern Guy Say…
TOP 31 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR SOUTHERN BOYS SAY: 31. When I retire, I’m movin’ north. 30. Oh I wouldn’t dare, she’s only sixteen. 29. I’ll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex. 28. Duct tape won’t fix that. 27. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken with a slice of lime. 26….
Mom Jokes: Keep Things to Yourself…
A man received the following text message from his next-door neighbor: “I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess, I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact a lot more than you have. I have not been getting any at home,…
Mom Jokes: Definition of Coincidence
A chicken farmer went to the local bar … He sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of lemonade. The woman said: “How strange, I also just ordered a glass of lemonade.” “What a coincidence” said the farmer, who added: “It is a special day for me. I’m celebrating.” “It is a special day for me…
Mom Jokes: Brain Transplant
In the hospital where a family member lay gravely ill, the relatives gathered in the waiting room. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. “I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a…
Mom Jokes: How to Be Safe–This One is REALLY Good
I took down the Battle flag and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door and bumper of car. Then I disconnected the home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. Bought two Iranian flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS…
Mom Jokes: What Causes Arthritis?
A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to…
Mom Jokes: Who is the Easiest Patient to Operate On?
Five surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on: First surgeon: I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered. Second surgeon: You should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded. Third surgeon: No, I really think librarians are the…
Mom Jokes: A Lawyer Vs. a Teacher
A lawyer and a public city school teacher are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that teachers are so dumb that he could get one over on one easily. So, the lawyer asks if the teacher would like to play a fun game. The teacher is tired and just wants…
Mom Jokes: Are You From Scotland or Wales?
I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking. Their accents sounded Scottish to me, and I approached them and asked, “Hi! Are you three lassies from Scotland?” One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales, you bloody idiot!” So I apologized to them, replying, “I am so very sorry!…
Mom Jokes: Overpopulation…
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to…
Mom Jokes: My Trip to the Store
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally…